Note: The post was started on October 10th but I didn’t finish it until today.
Having the day off has been pretty nice. I’ve avoided reading the news lately because it’s too depressing. People just react to things without thinking. That’s what a lot of this is: just pure reaction rather than pondering it all. And you know, that is the standard human response I find. I watched Bones episode this week The He in The She, an episode that centers around the death of a transwoman. It’s interesting to see how people respond to this. One of the things I liked about this episode was how the gender pronouns were misdone. It may seem odd but it seemed more real. The characters, particularly those that are “staunch” in their religion, had more of an issue with identifying the victim by gender than did say, Bones, who is an atheist. Most shows have their characters say the gender perfectly but that’s not the way society is.
Reality is that society, particularly those that have problems with understanding why someone transitions, will — even when they try — have difficulty with the gender pronouns and how to address someone who has transitioned. Society wants to recognize the past but can’t reconcile that with the present. The problem with this is that the individual may not want to recognize the past and only want to acknowledge where they are at this time. This presents a challenge for people who try to be overly PC in advance and those that do not recognize or respect a transgendered or transsexual person’s path will trample on that person as a person. I wish there was a neutral pronoun that would allow for a transperson to exist as themselves and allow others to find a middle ground to accept them.
Granted things like religion throws a wrench into things since people believe that God only wants us to be one way. I somehow doubt, although have no proof one way or another, that God cares about our gender, particularly since we do not really know what God’s gender is since no one has seen God in person (so to speak). Traditionally, the view is male due to our patriarchal society having a preference towards a male-identified diety and that anything male-identified is “inherently” better. And that to change things, particularly physical things to represent a different gender must be an afront to God. I find it frustrating that those that believe in God assume the It (a gender neutral pronoun) didn’t put this path before a transgender person and the rest of society. How do they know that this isn’t the path to test society on it’s preconceived views of the various genders (there are more than two)?
It often seems unfathomable to those of us with open minds how someone won’t or can’t get it but we forget that not everyone has an open mind. It is hard to say what has closed those minds up but they are what they are. I suspect that some experience or the insulation of their world has resulted in this. And it’s hard to break with what we knew as comfortable and what we understood. My aunt recently contacted me because she was in a puzzle. She wanted to list me as next of kin but didn’t know what to put down. I said to use my present legal name and gender since I haven’t had either of those changed and on legal documents it’s a necessity to put down the proper legal name. She can change it later when I’ve changed it. I’m thankful that she’s willing and trying and any mistakes I won’t hold against her. I know it’s a lot for her to comprehend after seeing me grow up like a younger sibling for the last 36 years or so as one gender. A lot of my family have seen me since.. hrmmm.. 2005. So it’s been a while. And I have no doubts that the physical changes will make a difference as well.
Anyways, it’s all good and perhaps one day we’ll all get it. Until then, I’ll grit my teeth at those that don’t understand, thank those that are trying to understand and hug those that get it.