A Life about Transition

K and Bobcat, the mad purrer

I’m pretty lucky, I do have to say. When it comes to family, I’m probably luckier than most. My family may not fully understand all of why I’m doing what I’m doing and they may (or may not) make a full effort but they do love me regardless and want me to be happy regardless. That is all that matters. I know that I’ll never be disowned, disregarded, ignored, shunned or thrown out (although the last is hard to do since I live my life independently now.

I called both my aunts today and talked with one who I haven’t seen in over a year for a good half one. It was a nice conversation and made me miss my family more. We talked a bit about my transition. I don’t believe in forcing them to call me by my chosen name for the main reason that they only do see me once a year or so. They are trying and I definitely give them credit for that. It’s not easy for them to “flip” overnight from the person they had seen and identified as their “niece” to the visual person that will become their “nephew” but I’m sure it will come.

Rosie getting warm on the radiator

One thing that I’m most lucky to have is K and the furrkids. The furrkids love me unconditionally as I am (particularly if I’ve got food in my hands). Rosie is still a skittish 2 year old but she does follow us both around and talks to us in her tiny, high voice. Bobcat, at 15 years, still is rather talkative (almost too talkative at times) and has become a marathon sleeper. She’d win the Olympic Sleeping division, if such a thing existed. She’s sometimes playful (when the weather is cooler like in spring or fall) but truly is active when food is late (at least to her tummy). She’ll never turn down a cuddle and purrs like mad when held. Neither furr kid has objected to my changing voice or appearance. I’m still “daddy” to them.

And then there’s K, my rock in life. I’ve been truly blessed at having a partner who is understanding, open and caring enough to support me through this whole process. It’s not just the physical that changes but the whole person that changes during transition. We are, actually, constantly transitioning our souls as we age, experience and move forward in life. I feel like I’ve been reborn again (Born Again Human?) and am going through my third life (I often divide my life up to Life Before my Mom’s Murder in 1992, Life After her Murder and Life after 2005). I’ve been lucky enough to have a transition that has been straight forward, simplistic and fairly uncomplicated (save for work visa issues). K has been understanding enough to let me be a kid again, explore things (e.g., my cigar hobby) and laugh heartily with me as we venture out in the world and sleep deeply under the stars at night. I look at my little family and know one thing (and it’s the most important thing):

I am home.

I downloaded and slightly modified this picture from GeoEye’s Website. If you look in the center at the little “grayish/brown specs” you’ll realize those are people. And there were a lot of them there.

January 20, 2009 Inauguration from Space

This week has been great as I visited friends from both work and from my life. It was easy to pick up from where I left off. Although I spent most of my life not knowing what friendship was, I learned late in life what it is. And I have to say I’m blessed with some pretty amazing friends. It was great to be reminded of all the things that I liked about Toronto but also reminded me of what I’m missing in NYC. I so wish I didn’t have to worry about a border, work or other things. If I could just take K to Canada and not have to fuss over borders, passports and the like, I’d do it. But I can’t.

This picture is from the skating rink in front of City Hall in Toronto. Skating was something I used to do when I was younger and played goalie. It wasn’t unusual to just lace up the skates and go down the Rideau Canal in Ottawa. I hope oen day my kids can experience those kinds of memories.