cats – Going beyond transition

Yes, yes.. I’m still here.

Posted on November 27, 2009 by Linus Posted in Daily life, Gratitude, Life, transition, Traveling/Work, vegan stuff .

I’ve been lazy and busy at the same time for the last little while. I sometimes go through a non-desire to write and the most recent time period was it. I’ll admit to being a little bit of a WoW addict of late. (Yes, that is the first step to healing). But it is a cheap escape for me and the puzzles do exercise the mind in many ways. I think I’ve gotten a little bored with work. The excitement is down and I think I’m getting a little worried about the visa situation. I’m still waiting to hear. I think if it does fail, I’ll head to BC (Vancouver) and ride out the year there. It’d suck but, one does what ya have to do.

I have gotten a little bit excited about a new site that I’m helping out on: ButchFemmePlanet. Coming in at the ground level, it’s re-energinzed my non-work related geek to poke at vBulletin more and to do a little work on VeganBodybuilding site (I’m the admin there too). I have to say that BFP definitely feels like a breath of fresh air and has a good community feel about it. The community feeling is important to me. It adds to that sense of belonging and purpose that we often want in life beyond our partners. Anyways, it’s refueled my desire to re-learn PHP, go more advanced and get beyond that. I’ll be investigating into some things I could do to improve the blog a bit but we’ll see.

The NaNoWriMo failed for me this year. It was that whole bored/lazy thing. I dunno why but the idea I had at first fizzled. I used to have such a creative mind but now, not so much. It’s made me wonder if some of that is the T. My emotions and how I display them have certainly changed. I find I cannot cry any more (things that would have me sniffling barely get a whimper). It’s a very hard thing to come to grips with. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for them, it’s just that I cannot show it like I used to.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. This has never been a huge holiday for me largely because we never visited family and associated meaning with the holiday. When I learned the true history of Thanksgiving, that it wasn’t as “Rockwellian” as we’d believe, it lost it’s importance to me even more. It’s shocking how everyone here talks about how it’s for family and such — and then I see a lot of the grocery stores open (albeit with shortened hours). It is a commercialized holiday to the Nth degree and that really does suck. For us, we didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving but rather our 3rd year together. We first started dating on Thanksgiving in 2006 (although online) and it’s been an amazing 3 years. Certainly we’ve had bumps and bruises along the way but I have found that we’ve gotten closer and love each other more now than before. It’s an awesome feeling. I made a pure vegan dinner — tofurky, vegan dumplings, potatos, onions, carrots, gravy and a vegan wish bone — that we thoroughly enjoyed. And then we watched Bruno. That has to be the weirdest movie I’ve ever seen. I’m surprised that it made it to theaters and that lawsuits of one sort or another didn’t prevent it from airing. There were some parts that were just downright funny and others that surprised me that the audience didn’t kill him.

Anyways, online blog buddy DolphynGyrl wanted to know what 5 things we’re thankful for this holiday season so here are mine:

1. I am thankful that I finally found my path in life, even if it took a few years.

2. I am thankful that I have a job I love (yes, I do still love my job)

3. I am thankful for good health of friends and family

4. I am thankful that Bobcat is still around, cranky as ever.

5. I am thankful for K being in my life. Without her, life would be lonely and very plain.

Cranky furrkids are still very loved.

Posted on August 5, 2009 by Linus Posted in Daily life .

Bobcat awake (rarity!)

Bobcat has been sleeping lots of late. I’ve begun to wonder if the FeLV is finally taking hold. Hard to tell. I mean, she is a cat and she likes to sleep. She’s also extremely temperamental. And mostly mental. We went to the Vet today and found out she’s lost 1 lb in 3 months. That’s a lot for a cat and isn’t a good thing. I treated her to some good salmon tonight in hopes of helping her eat some and also as a treat after putting up with far too much poking and prodding. She had urine drawn (I think she might have a urinary tract infection), blood drawn, temperature taken (rear-ended), nails cut and strange people holding her. She fought and howled the whole time. You’d swear she was being tortured or something.

Anyways, we’ll get blood results tomorrow. I’m hopeful that the FeLV hasn’t gotten worse and that her weight loss is more the result of being picky. She’s my last furrkid we’ll have for a while. We’re not allowed to have furrkids here and given that we’re likely to move to California (although with everything going on there, I’m not sure how well it will go). The distance of the move would be a lot for a new kitten or other furrkid. But we’ll see. So today was a long day (I started at 7am and have yet to go to bed). Keep Bobcat in your thoughts. I really don’t want her to go through what the kittens went through. She hates the vet enough.

RIP Rosie: July 2007 – February 2009

Posted on February 20, 2009 by Linus Posted in Life, photo blog .

Tonight, after feeding Rosie, I heard a loud meow as I cleaned the dishes. I rushed out to find Rosie lying down, her breathing laboured. I picked her up, tears in my eyes and held her. She gave a few deep breaths, mewed and then died in my arms. She had really grown on me. As feral and anti-social as she had been when we first got her, she had a little special place in my heart. I kept at trying to socialize her with the both of us and Bobcat. She eventually had come out of her shell, growing playful with string and little red laser dots that moved. She was very quiet and rarely meowed (usually when food was out). She always ate little and was tiny but in the last month she ate even less. It’s hard to believe we’ve gone from four furrkids to one in just over a year.

Goodbye, my sweet little Rosie. You will be missed.

Rosie

Furrkids is still kidlets to the heart

Posted on February 19, 2009 by Linus Posted in Daily life, Gratitude, Life, photo blog .

Rosie

Yesterday was a busy day and heart-wrenching. Rosie hasn’t been too well. We noticed that she had swollen glands under her jaw and wasn’t eating a lot (which can be hard to detect because she generally doesn’t eat that much). So I took her in to see the vet yesterday. This wasn’t a fun experience. I don’t like this particular vet practise but it’s the only one in the area so we’re kinda stuck in regards to this. The vet informed me that it’s likely the effect of FeLV.

This puzzled me since I could have sworn that they had said she was only exposed to FeLV (Feline Leukemia Virus) but apparently she has it. The question is whether she has the immune system strong enough to fight it. I know that Bobcat, at a robust age of 15, can fight it. But Rosie, given her timid nature has more of an uphill battle to face. The vet said that Rosie lost over 1.5lbs since her last visit (June 08 — she weight about 5.9lbs and now is at 4.2lbs).

Julia and Rosie watching the birdies

I was shocked! I knew she had lost some weight but didn’t realize it was this much. Definitely not a good thing. So we got antibiotics (to deal with the swollen glands), vitamin “goo” (tastes like tuna apparently and should help give her necessary vitamins she may be missing because of not eating) and a medication that should kick her immune system into gear to fight off the FeLV. I’m hopeful that the antibiotics will help her eat more, the vitamins give her more energy and that her immune system isn’t weakened too much. As frustrated as I am that the previous owner didn’t know or let us know that both Julia and Rosie had FeLV, I’m glad that, at the worst, they got to enjoy a full life — as short as it may have been or will be — with us. I admit that K and I spoil our furrkids.

And as feral as Rosie is, she’s got this little special place in my heart. She has this absolute innocence about things and a love for the simplest of things. Her favourite toy? a piece of cotton string I got for her. It’s impressive that she is able to play with it given how, not too long ago, she was afraid of anything that moved. She’s still not quite a lapcat but perhaps with time, she will be. I know we won’t give up on her yet and I’m just hoping she hasn’t given up yet.