Going beyond transition

Tag Archives: America

Sunday Morning Giggle: We’ve got a Rep for that.

Posted on by Posted in Politics .

As a Canadian, I find the US political system to be a challenge at time and others, well, down right giggly. One of my bigger problems is keeping track of the players. And since I’m a geeky type of person having it in an easy format, like say an iPhone/iTouch app, would be ideal. I’ve gotten to know some thanks to Rachel Maddow’s show and the segment TMI. But it would be nice to have a list of some sort that can tell me who the hypocrites are, the gay-bashers, etc.

And then I came across this. I couldn’t help but laugh. Someone has done it. I actually wouldn’t mind having an iPhone/iTouch app like this. It’d be easy to remember who I was having issue with given there are so many republicans that just seem to be a few cards short of the full deck at times. The actual creator has a webpage that details information about each of the listed reps, as well, for those of us who are not so US politico savvy.

The Catch-22 of a Name Change

Posted on by Posted in transition .

As a Canadian living in the US, I face neat little challenges regularly. Red tape is a fact of life by being this kind of visitor. Now, of course, being a Canadian I am honest about what I am and what I do. I follow the rules, particularly when it comes to US Immigration et al. And so I was recently faced with the chicken and egg concept: when changing one’s name in the US, as a non-citizen, what do I change first: SSN or Passport? The answer, I figure, is passort and work visa. So I went to the TDELF to have them help me navigate the waters of the US legal system. Apparently, I’m one of the first they’ve ever had who has changed the name in the US and then gets to face the home nation and it’s red-tape.

Once all the appropriate documents were filed and once the name publication is done, I will be able to obtain my certified copies of name change (10 in all). YAY ME! So as the lawyer goes through that process, I decided to get a head start on the Canadian side of thing. I called the Ontario Registry (they look after births, deaths and marriages) and asked about how to get my birth certificate modified. They explained it, saying that all I’d need is the certified copy, a letter from a guarantor and why I was using a non-Canadian for it (i.e., have been living in the US for two years now). Simple enough. One red tape issue addressed. I then called Passport Canada.

Now things get tricky. To get the new passport I need the amended birth certificate along with a signed piece of ID. No problem right? NOT. The 2nd ID MUST have the new name. The thing is, I do not drive and have no other form of ID other than passport. So I’m kind of in a chicken-and-egg thing. In order to get State ID, I must use my passport and visa but I suspect that will only get ID that will reflect my now-old name. In order to get State ID with new name, I need my passport to reflect that and.. oh wait.. You can see the quandary I’m in. So, I think I’m going to try to see about updating my SIN card (that’s a Social Insurance Number in Canada for those of you from the US). I think I used that previously to get my passport done.

I figure the wait time for the two initial pieces of ID — birth certificate and SIN card — will take until sometime mid-November. So come January I’ll have to trek up to Toronto or Montreal or even Halifax or even Calgary (actually, maybe Montreal, Halifax or Calgary– I can visit family in any of those cities and get the NEXUS while there as well) to get the passport done. Perhaps I should also get a federal ID card while I’m at it (Canadian citizenship card, I believe they are called). I think once the SIN is done I can then do all the credit cards. And once the passport is done then I can get the US SSN done and have that reflective — FINALLY — on my work email. I’m still hopeful that a green card is in my future but if I can get all this done before the final application for that is done, then life will be good.  Whatever the process, I will be documenting it here as I have a feeling I’m not the first nor will I be the last person who has to do this.

Ain’t government process fun?? 🙂

Poll Results: A lot of buckets out there

Posted on by Posted in Politics .

It appears that many of you have a bucket list of some sort (67%). Pretty good. In a lot of ways, having goals in life help us to live long lives because we have something to live for. I suspect that’s partially why those with lots of friends, married/partnered and a positive outlook in life tend to have longer lives. Good habits aren’t the only methods of ensuring long life. In fact, they aren’t indicators of long life. You look at someone like George Burns, who smoked 15-20 cigars a day, and compare him to someone like Ron H. Daws died at age 55 (he was competitor in 1968 Olympic marathoning, avid runner, cross country skier, etc.). Reducing the stress in life (e.g., through laughter, friendship, etc.) is the mechanism, to me, that helps one live longer and enjoy things. How we view life and realize that not only living in moment is critical as is looking towards living in the future.

I also believe in preventative health care matters. In February I asked if universal health care was needed in the US. Now that things are closing closer to some kind of finalized deal, I wonder (especially if we include the recent costs that the US went through and have still to go through) if it’s still viable. I have some doubts as to whether this could be similar to what is seen in Canada, as an example. Health care here is highly capitalized and about the the ultimate cost/bill rather than the health of the patient. And a lot of the “discussion” isn’t a discussion after all: it’s a yelling match between two parties and by both. Neither is really listening and the clock continues to tick on those not covered. So, here’s the question (and this month’s poll): is the proposed health care bill the solution?

To help clarify what makes up some of this issue, I’ve included some links to the Washington Post that breaks down some of the costs and numbers behind everything.

How the Bills Stack Up

In Search of Health Care Reform

What Does Health Care Mean for You?

A Sphere of Influence

Through a glass darkly…

Posted on by Posted in Life, Politics .

I look out the window to the darkest of skies. The thunderstorm is coming soon. But it’s not the rain, lightening or thunder that worry. Even the potential hint of a tornado isn’t of concern. It’s what’s in front of the storm. The bleakness shone through the blackened windows. The gray lifeless walls held memories of a life once lived. It was one of many little hovels grouped together in an attempt to create a complex of exist. Life tried to poke its way through as kids ran down the carless street, unaware of the vast poverty and dismay of the area. Dreams that might have once lived have faded and been burned away like the charred wall paper that juts out of one exposed wall. The only two kids on the street. For them, it is their playground: an old rusted can becomes a ball, a rebar becomes a bat and an old klunker home base.

Rounding first (a broken Coke bottle), I see him race for second base while his opponent chases after the can. I return back to my USA Today. I see an ad extol about the “horrors” of socialism, the threat of “socialized” health care and how a private health care system is the only valid one for the US. The US’s poverty rate is around 12% (higher than the 10% claimed by the ad), Canada around 6% and Cuba is an unknown although I’d peg it around 90%. What’s interesting is that the HDI (Human Development Index — the index that indicates things like life expectancy, literacy, education and standards of living) lists Cuba at 48 on the HIGH category (Canada is 3 while the US is 15).

Right now the US is debating (yet again) what to do about health care. on one side, people believe that pay-per keeps costs down and wiser use of health care. On the other is universal health care where it’s available for all, regardless of whether someone is employed or not. Anyone gets health care coverage and it should limit the possibility of going into debt over health care. But there is one thing that isn’t being considered and is really needed. The reality is that health care is about people. One of the challenges in the US is that it overemphasizes monetary profit, whether for hospitals, staff, benefits programs, etc. It’s not to say that profit isn’t a consideration in places like Canada (Canadian doctors can make the same or slightly below what is made in the US) but there are less extras to address (like malpractice insurance, etc.). I don’t know if the US will ever be able to have a health care that will be effect at helping it’s populace, particularly those in most need, be able to get help — both reactive and proactive/preventative.

The Acela train I’m on continues its fast race to New York. The bleak looking ghetto is on the outskirts of Philadelphia. It reminded me of Mexico City except there it was colourful. Here, its grey, burned and discarded from the rest of society. It is often how the wealthier parts of the country view those without: they are drab, lifeless “things” to discard. Giving those without hope a chance for it can help reduce poverty and give dreams to those who need it.

Video Blog Entry for June 12, 2009

A history of the same-sex marriage in the US

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, Politics .

I had a lunch with a friend over the weekend who explained to me a bit more about the US Constitution and how it’s supposed to protect minority groups from being oppressed by the larger majority. It’s interesting to note that this is actually what is going on in the US and no one has taken it to the federal court to challenge the bans on that exact basis:

Transparency: A History of Gay Marriage Bans

Transparency: A History of Gay Marriage Bans

What’s in a name?

Posted on by Posted in Daily life .

Well, it’s been busy of late and that’s been part of why I haven’t posted recently. I’ll also admit to be being lazy these last few days as I’ve been sucked back into playing WoW. It’s actually been a fun time waster. K is visiting family for two weeks so I’m in bachelor mode. As fun as it is, I do miss K being here. It’s too quiet and I miss all the snuggles, hugs, kisses and, well.. you get the idea. Life has been pretty good this past little while. I’d say that I’m passing about 80% of the time now. And I’ve begun to use my chosen name but still need to get the official name change done. I’m still not looking forward to this because of the number of documents that I have to change: birth certificate, passport, SIN card, SSN card, credit cards, work visa, etc. I can see why there is a huge advantage to doing this early in life. Once your world footprint is out there, it’s hard to adjust it after the fact. But the sooner I start, the sooner I can finish it.

One thing that is about to change (starting August 15, 2009) that concerns me is that all government ID that is used for air travel within and into/out of the US will have to have match and full names will have to be used on all travel. For most people this isn’t an issue but identifying someone’s name, date of birth and gender does seem like a bit of an invasion of privacy. Sure, I’m certainly public about who I am but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to know it. People who come to this blog know me through one manner or another. I don’t tell strangers I’m transgendered/transsexual unless I’m outright asked and even then, it’s still my prerogative. This will effectively out me and others. Let’s be clear about something. While this is couched by the Department of Homeland Security as a method of identifying terrorists this really isn’t. It’s almost akin to security through obscurity (that is, if we hide it then it will be secure). The assumption here is that terrorists are truthful as to who they are. Names can change, birth certificates changed, etc. If you truly want to be secure, educate the populace as to what to look for; have a better foreign policy that doesn’t deliberately go out of its way to piss off others and a variety of other options.

If organizations want to be more secure, have more inspection tables and more thorough inspections. Require people to be checked-in, luggaged and in the terminal an hour before the flight leaves. Anything later should mean taking the next flight. In an information age where anyone can be anybody, it makes sense to remove that dependence on actual paper ID and rely more on the person themselves. It’s more about what a person has with them that is questionable than their identity when it comes to security overall. The only benefit to truly tracking identity is to track where people are going, assuming that their ID is valid, in an attempt to find illegal immigrants or to try to be pre-emptive (although that is nearly impossible to do unless one can read minds).

I think once I get my name changed on my passport, I will get Nexus to make my travel between Canada and the US easier. The only reasons I go between the countries is either for work or to visit family. Doing the whole custom thing over and over again is getting old. Welp, enough writing for today. Time to play. Have a great rest of the day.

Transitioning on the job: win.

Posted on by Posted in Gratitude, LGBTQ, transgender, transition, Traveling/Work, Uncategorized .

This past week turned out to be far better than expected. As some of you have read, this was the first week that colleagues really saw me since before my transition began. I was very apprehensive after reading about so many who have been mocked, ridiculed, etc. when they transitioned on the job. I got the complete opposite. To the point of near tears. I am blessed for working in a company that is supportive of the person I am and am becoming. I wasn’t quite comfortable using the washroom with colleagues but have done more of that when out in public or going to airports. I get “sir’d” constantly now and even changed a few of my “points” (e.g., hotel, airline, etc.) to “Mr.” and get called that as well. Almost every night, I met up with about 4-12 of my colleagues in one room or another. We had a few drinks (it’d kill the swine flu, I tells ya); a few cigars; and a lot of war stories. I got asked a few questions, shown a lot of support and good laughter. I guess it was a form of bonding with my colleagues (many who want to do co-teaches with me, especially in Vegas — apparently they’d lied; it doesn’t stay in Vegas — LOL).

I know there are a few who probably weren’t sure of what had happened to me and aren’t too sure how to ask (they were being polite or PC, not sure which). And for those folks it may be necessary to do an email to colleagues. I think that this week I’ll be working on that email and send it out (assuming HR is ok with it). I’ll probably put a huge line at the bottom that says something along the lines that I’m ok with pretty much any question being asked to me directly but to remember that I’m not like other trans individuals and not to assume that others will answer those questions.

It was weird today. For some reason I wish I could call my mom and tell her, excitedly, about all my successes. But then I remembered I can’t. Many choices in life I do not regret .. except one: my last words to my mom two years prior to her death. It doesn’t change the fact that she was killed unnecessarily  nor does it change the history we had (both good and bad). But as I travel further down my Buddhist path, I’m becoming more aware of the power of karma (karma is neither good nor bad, it just is the effect of actions) and the importance of lessening the suffering, no matter how small, on ourselves and others.

Anyways, I do believe that I am proof of a few things. It is possible to transition on the job with little or few objections by employer, employees and customers. I am also proof, I suspect, of white privilege and specifically, male white privilege. I work in a male dominanted industry and one that is highly white dominanted (for all the wrong reasons, IMO). It is stuff like that which frustrates me since I cannot figure out how to change things (at least not just yet).  It will be interesting to see if my salary changes at the next performance review (it should — not based on gender but rather all the things I’m doing and will be doing over the next 6 months).

Life on the Road

Posted on by Posted in Daily life, Life, transition, Traveling/Work .

There is this perception that when you’re on the road for work you’ll have tonnes of time to do other things. My days on the road haven’t been that lucky. I’m usually up at 6am and don’t get to bed until midnight or thereabouts. My work at whatever location I’m at goes from about 8am until about 5-6pm. And contrary to what most might think, being a technical trainer can be quite draining. You have to be emotionally “on” constantly and nearly always have the answer, even if you don’t have the answer. It then means digging for it. It also means keeping control of a variety of personalities. The best class is when all the personalities fit (I’ve had that a handful of times). The reality is that most classes kinda fit. One or two students are either anti-social or have other challenges, whether language, personality or what-have-you. I’ve always been concerned that my very visible transition might translate into an additional difficulty but thus far, hasn’t. It may be due to my ability to present as professional and to make what I teach paramount rather than who I am paramount.

This week was no exception. We lucked out with a great class but with so many students and given that it was new material (I already knew about 85% of the material by heart and just need to bone up on that last 15%) the days were long. To add to it, we weren’t in downtown Chicago but rather in the outskirts (read: middle of nowhere). I’d get back to the hotel by about 6-6:30pm (I picked a hotel that was easily in walking distance of the location) and then hunt for food. By the time dinner was done, it was nearly 8:30pm. Then I tried to relax or get caught up on other things. Most interesting places were downtown or were already closed. That was kind of annoying.

The one huge plus from the week was that practically everyone outside of the class called me “sir”, “dude” or even “Mr. <birthname>”, the last I found particularly interesting. I have a feeling that my ability to pass even more will change with necessary surgery. The name change will be the additional step. My trans individuals I know feel they live two lives and I know exactly what they are referring to. Until one is passing 100% and has had necessary surgeries, name changes and, if necessary/possible, gender marker changes, they will likely straddle these two options. It is my professional life that is giving me a sense of belonging and safety like I’ve never felt before. I have to admit that I’m incredibly lucky to belong to an organization like the corporation I do belong to (it’s a fast growing company that some would say is large but that many employees, particularly those that have been there for 2 or more years, see as small).

Another fun thing being on the road is some of the people I meet outside of my work, like the cabby that took me to O’Hare. For the whole trip he played Deep Purple’s Machine Head (on tape cassette no less). When we got to the airport, he commented on my ring and showed me a golden skull cigar band ring that he got in German. Through his broken english he explained that it 18K. It was a beautiful ring and the design was rather intricate. I don’t think he would have done either if he had clued in that I wasn’t a guy. I love talking to the average person that lives in each of the places that I visit. To me, it shows the true side of Americana: the person that lives to create their own American dream.

LGBTQ news: Nepal leaps ahead of North America in LGBTQ protections

Posted on by Posted in Uncategorized .

It’s interesting to see how the rest of the world deals with things like same-sex marriage and transgendered individuals. A recent decision by the Nepal Supreme Court was published:

The Nepali Supreme Court is translating its decision into English, but highlights from the published Nepali decision are (unofficial translation):

■  In relation to this matter, directive order has been issued to the Government of Nepal to enact new laws and amend all existing discriminatory laws so that all individuals with different sexual orientations and gender identities can exercise equal rights like any other citizens of Nepal.

■  A seven-member committee to be formed by the government of Nepal to study the different same sex partnership/marriage bill/act in other countries and recommend the government to make same sex marriage/partnership act.  Based on the recommendation of this committee, the government must introduce a same sex partnership/marriage act.

■  The decision also addressed “cross dressing saying can’t be taken as “pollution” but should be taken as individual’s freedom of expression.

■  All LGBTI must be defined as “natural persons” and their physical growth as well as sexual orientation, gender identity, expression are all part of natural growing process.  Thus equal rights, identity and expression must be ensured regardless of their sex at birth.

Wow. Talk about profound. For a nation that many in North America would “assume” to be “backwards” it’s farther thinking than here.