Going beyond transition

Alto ventos est coeptis utque fecit. Phoebe sine circumfuso arce. Tanto aliis. Matutinis cornua origo formaeque animal mundo. Chaos: fabricator. Natura mundo caesa addidit. Cuncta habendum meis omni ille formaeque emicuit septemque et. Lege fecit aethere porrexerat gentes horrifer formas.

Alto ventos est coeptis utque fecit. Phoebe sine circumfuso arce. Tanto aliis. Matutinis cornua origo formaeque animal mundo. Chaos: fabricator. Natura mundo caesa addidit. Cuncta habendum meis omni ille formaeque emicuit septemque et. Lege fecit aethere porrexerat gentes horrifer formas.

Alto ventos est coeptis utque fecit. Phoebe sine circumfuso arce. Tanto aliis. Matutinis cornua origo formaeque animal mundo. Chaos: fabricator. Natura mundo caesa addidit. Cuncta habendum meis omni ille formaeque emicuit septemque et. Lege fecit aethere porrexerat gentes horrifer formas.

I love Mankind. It’s the people I can’t stand.

Posted on by Posted in Daily life .

I’m gonna smack him.

Very soon.

Why aren’t people cognizant of others around them and the actions that they do could annoy someone else?

I’m sitting at San Jose quietly reading and listening to music while the guy next to me (a couple of seats over) insists on stomping his feet and talking on the phone as if he’s on the tarmac with a plane behind him. I always try to be aware of what’s around me and respect others. If I think I’m disturbing them I apologize and go elsewhere so as not to disturb them.

Especially when traveling. People tend to get tired and irritated thanks to delays and the joys of the security grope. Oh, and speaking of TSA, I’ve been body scanned more in the last four weeks than I’ve ever received from a doctor. I don’t want to opt out since the poke’n’grope doesn’t appeal to me as a transperson.

Perhaps its just exhaustion on my part.

The Start of a New Year…. Finally.

Posted on by Posted in Daily life, fitness, LGBTQ, Life, Novel writing, transition, Traveling/Work, vegan stuff .

I can honestly say that I’m tired of rain. Heck, at times, it’s been colder in Los Angeles (and wetter!) than in Toronto or other northern cities. Whether the cause is Global Warming or not, isn’t that important. What is important is that the weather patterns are a-changin’. K and I went to Montreal for the festive holidays and ended up staying an extra 3 days thanks to the blizzard that hit the Northeast. It’s interesting how all the Canadian airports had no issue with the storm (even though they handle these kinds of storms regularly) but the big 3 in question — JFK, LaGuardia and Newark — completely fell apart.

I’m thankful that we were staying with family and they had room for us for the extra days but I did feel bad about imposing on them for this extra time. I know that it impacts on the daily routine and sometimes that can be trying. It was still a fun visit, nonetheless. I introduced K to poutine (if you’ve never had this, it is an experience: basically, it’s french fries, cheese curds and gravy). We also indulged in some New Brunswick lobster (tastes very different from Maine or elsewhere). This trip was our last omnivore meal. We’ve reached a point where we want to return back to a vegan diet and primarily one that is a raw vegan diet. I don’t know if we’ll be able to do 100% raw vegan (and, if I could, it’d do 3-4 green smoothies a day) but I’m going to aim for at least 50% if not higher.

I haven’t been back on my bike since we got all the rain and I had all that travel but after my trip this week to San Jose, I should be able to start some cycling for a couple of weeks. One of the things I still have to do is coordinate with a hotel gym when I travel or walk where possible. Given that my next 3 trips will be San Jose, Austin (TX) and Orlando I think walking may be in my future.

So, given that it’s the start of the new year, I suppose I should put up some resolutions. I was going to compare them to last year’s but it appears I didn’t really post any. I suspect that was because I knew things would be somewhat in flux with the move and the visa really being the biggest concerns. Ok.. so here goes.

1. Return back to a vegan lifestyle. I truly can’t take meat or processed foods any more. There still is a part of me that wants to be pescaterian (damned Acadian genes!) but I’m going to avoid that as much as possible. As I said above, I want it to be primarily raw vegan (ideally up to 80%) where possible. I have found that my body is having a harder and harder time with processed foods in general. I’m also cutting out all soda, diet or otherwise. If it ain’t water or whiskey, it’s gonna be a tea.

2. Cycling 3-6 times a week. This will depend on how much on the road I am but if I get what I asked for (once a month) then I should be fine. In addition to this I want to ensure that I do 25 pushups a day and 50 situps (no necessarily all at once but in a series of reps). This would be the basic exercise for every day and should help build some of my core muscles.

3. Do a full completion of the P90X program. I have the DVDs and the space. I just need to do the damned things. I know a lot of trans guys who have done this and they say it’s the best at building up muscle, especially pre-surgery.

4. When not doing P90X or cycling, go for a run. I actually had enjoyed running with my FiveFingers and want to get back to doing that again. I think it’d be a nice alternating exercise to the cycling for me to do as a way to lose weight.

5. Do two centuries to San Diego and back. Nothing gets me on my bike more than having a goal. A century (100 miles in a single day) to San Diego would be a good way to gauge how I’m doing.  Doing it twice — once in May (?) and once in August (?) — would be a good way to gauge how my fitness levels are doing. It can also allow me to explore the area more.

6. Get my driver’s license. At 40, I’m weird in that I’ve never gotten it. And I’ll be honest in that the Los Angeles freeways scare the crap out of me. The average speed is about 80-100 mph (well into the 130-150kph range). I don’t know if I’ll ever use the freeways themselves but there are a lot of secondary freeways I could use. I’m aiming to see if I can get this by my 41st birthday or around there.

7. Walk the pups once a day when I’m at home. This will be particularly helpful for Jan to April since K will be working at her dad’s (an accountant) and that’s prime tax season. It’ll also help me get a little more exercise and keep them from being too wild. I particularly want this to be a 45-60 min venture. Pugs don’t need a lot of exercise but it does help keep these two from fighting with each other (they do this dominance thing a bit and the walks reduce that a lot).

8. Read a book a week and write at least once a day. I “hermitized” during 2010. I withdrew a lot because too much was going on and things are settling down quite a bit now into more of a routine. There is still a part of me that aspires to be a fiction writer. I used to want to write sci fi and part of me still does but given how much mystery I read I may lean that way. Or just combine them. I missed out on the 2010 NaWriMo but want to participate this year. I also have an intention of writing a technical book. I’ve been asked a few times to do a couple and there is one that is pending that I need to work on an outline with a colleague and get that started. I also need to be more diligent on my blogs and that is something I should be doing.

9. Get top surgery (at least) but perhaps a hysto as well. I’m thinking I may try to do this before the GOP repeal it (although I just read today how they are going start off the new session with that). I’m hopeful that my insurance provider will still keep the standard they are (as long as it’s consider a medical necessity by a doctor, they will cover it). I’m finding that my GID has been worsening in regards to physical appearance. Although I pass 100% of the time, I’m very self-conscious of certain things. And I’d like to have the top surgery before I do my big trip in 2012.

10. The actual weight loss goal — lose 60lbs by end of 2011. This means dropping from the 240lbs I had in 2009 (at 5’1″, it’s 50% body fat) to about 180lbs. I’ve been steady between 220-230 the last month or so. That is good but I need to continue to get that needle to drop more. My ultimate goal would be 150-160lbs. Although BMI and others say that still overweight, for my body type (stocky/compact) it’d be too much.

All of these are doable for this year. And now that I’ve written them out, I’ve basically made myself accountable to myself to complete them. In addition to all this, I will be migrating this blog (along with the others) to a new internet provider. I recently got an account to have my sites hosted on a virtual server. This will allow me to install and configure things the way I want it. When I get back from San Jose I will begin that process and post up a new link to the new address (it’ll be an IP to start with until the domain gets resolved to the new address).

Bring on 2011!

Giving Thanks today and every day

Posted on by Posted in Gratitude, Life .

So today, on American Thanksgiving, we are often reminded that we should give thanks for all the people and things we have in our lives. I don’t think we should be limiting it to a single day, however. I’ve been blessed daily with many things that I’m eternally grateful for.

1. Kristen, for one, makes life more whole, fun and loving. Sure we have our little bits and moments of disagreements but on the whole we complement each other. I have to admit I’ve never laughed as much as I do with her. For that I am grateful.

2. My health has been better this year than in past years and seems to be getting better. My recent foray into a whole raw food diet (thank you VitaMix and Victoria Boutenko) has been very promising. Once the next few weeks of travel settles then I should be able to resume it full force again and go back to a full vegan diet.

Additionally, moving to California has inspired me to return to cycling and I’m planning for my trans-continental ride from Vancouver to L.A., and perhaps right to the Mexican border.

3. While nearly 10% of the US populace is either unemployed or underemployed, I’m lucky enough to enjoy full employment (even if it does include may days of overtime). With this comes the health benefits I need as well as a pay that takes the stress out of day-to-day finances. I’m still recovering from the cost of the move but I’m more ahead now than I was before.

I’m also lucky that my company is willing to cover the cost of my work visa, even in these rough times (granted, unlike others we post some high percentages when it comes to profits).

4. Although many transsexed individuals face discrimination, ridicule and worse, I’ve been blessed with friends, family and colleagues who are supportive. Even those few that read here have been supportive and I’ve been pretty lucky to never once receive hate mail. (whether this has to do with me being an FTM or not I don’t know, especially given what Chaz and other prominent transmen face).

5. And without my friends, life would be very lonely indeed. My recent trip to Toronto showed me how lucky I am to have the friends I do. Even though I haven’t seen my two closest friends in a while (2-3 years) I was able to visit and stay with them and catch up with a former student of mine who I hadn’t seen in nearly 6-7 years. Even though I’m admittedly horrible at writing friends and family they still love me anyways.

6. Finally, the furrkids: Bobcat, the cranky cat; and Lily and Fawnda, the silliest and incredibly densest pugs around. The laughs and joys they bring by being themselves makes life that much more enjoyable and stress free.

So I do have a lot to be thankful for, not just today but every day. To all my American friends and adoptive family: Happy Thanksgiving/Gobbler Day. To everyone: thanks for being a part of my life.

Life is on track again

Posted on by Posted in Daily life, transition, Traveling/Work, Uncategorized .

Well, life has been busy since my last entry. My cycling has dropped off some due to traveling and probably won’t pick up again until the week of Thanksgiving. And then again in mid-December. Although I do love my job, it’s hard to get cycling in when I want to. I recently got Chris Carmichael’s book, The Time Crunched Cyclist. Basically, it’s like his program he used for Lance but adjusted for the average cyclist who wants to do well. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do the Tour de France but i should be able to do a few centuries and my planned tours. I will have to maximize my cycling. I’m tempted to get a new indoor trainer. I used to have one when I lived in Canada (cold nights made it hard to bike then). I think the bigger challenge will be that I’m on the road so much right now and in the near future. The one good thing is that the week of Thanksgiving my company is doing a “shutdown” and I intend to leverage that for a fair amount of cycling. We recently got the dogs a bicycle dog trailer and I might even attempt to see if they like that. If they do, then I can bring them with me on rides.

In other fun stuff, I got my new visa. This is good since it’ll keep me here for a while. It was a bit of nerve racking experience but it’s done. I now have my new passport (with new name) and a visa (also with new name). I went to SSA to get a new SSN with new name and will start the process for a driver’s license as well. I think I’ll also get a California ID as I do need additional ID sometimes and it would be better, when traveling only in the US, to use the state issued ID. So little time and so much to do.

Thanksgiving week will probably be the week I look into finally getting top surgery booked. I still have some weight I need to lose before then. I’ve dropped about 20lbs since earlier this summer and I think I can drop another 30-40lbs before the end of the year. I certainly wouldn’t be buff or perfectly lean but I think I will be in a healthier position for surgery. What is interesting is that I recently checked my company’s benefits site and I noticed that the exclusion for SRS has been removed. In fact, all exclusions seem removed and it’s down to 4 general terms. Since I know quite a few trans individuals who have had Aetna successfully cover their surgery I think I’m going to actively pursue the surgery and coverage under my benefits program.

I can honestly say that this makes life look great. I often post on HuffPost and have been commenting on the articles about Cher’s comments on Chaz in an effort to dispel some of the misinformation on trans individuals. While that can often be discouraging it is the worst I see in life today.

Getting back in the saddle.

Posted on by Posted in fitness .

Welp. I started the P90X program yesterday (FINALLY!!) and managed to get through about 45 min of the Shoulders CD. I decided to leave out the “bonus” stuff for now. I’m going to go for a ride later today (I tend to ride better in warmer weather and don’t have arm/leg warmers for early morning rides). Unfortunately, as luck would have it, just as I get started into this stuff, I have to travel. My visa paperwork is finally arriving and I’ll likely have to trudge up to Canada to get my visa done as well as fly back to the US to go through Customs to get it the final stamp of approval. This will likely mean nearly a week on the road, no cycling. I can do the P90X, at least, in my hotel room so that’s one comfort. Once I’ve done that, then I’ll head to Seattle for a week (I also have a trip to Reston, VA scheduled for the first week of Dec). So, lots of travel.

I’ve been doing some reading for some cycling specific training and am looking at Chris Carmichael’s Time-Crunched Training Plan (using 6-8 hours a week to train for centuries and the like but not a professional athlete’s level). I want to get back into long distance cycling. I’m thinking of doing L.A. to San Diego and back either later this year or early next. I figure that would be roughly about 100 miles (give or take) each way and would be a good weekend project trip. I don’t know if I will do the San Fran to L.A. AIDS ride. My biggest concern is that you need to raise $3000 to participate. I know that’s for all the support options along with funds raised for both San Fran and L.A. but it may not necessarily be doable. My company offers a matching program as part of their charity efforts but that would still be a challenge. I’m not used to raising those kinds of funds. I haven’t completely discounted the ride but am still pondering it.

That said, for the 4 rides I did last week it equaled 4500 calories, 85 miles and nearly 9 hours of riding. Not bad for a start. If I can maintain that or improve upon that (I’m still using my single speed bike for now and would expect my mileage to increase with my geared touring bike), then I think I should be ok for returning back to the road again. I’ll probably go riding today but I’ll have to wait until my visa paperwork arrives (should be here before 3pm). It’s going to be warm today and I have to admit that I bike better in warmth than I do when it’s chilly.

Things are looking up.

Posted on by Posted in Daily life, fitness, Gratitude, Traveling/Work .

I love it when things come together. I’ve been poking about the lawyer’s site to see what was up with my visa and lo’ and behold on Friday, 3 months to the day that USCIS officially received the visa application it was approved. It was like a whole bunch of weight was lifted off my shoulders. I’m still waiting for details to come from the lawyers as to the next steps. Once I know, then I can move forward. I think part of it will include a visit back home to Canada to address my passport (and finally get all my ID in sync) as well as getting the visa itself.

Which then brings me to today’s little discovery. I decided to log into my company’s website and check out benefits and all that. I was looking at my coverage and noticed something. In the exclusions there was no mention of sexual reassignment. Yippee! Once I finish with the whole visa thing I will have two calls to make: one to a doctor and one to the DMV (Yes, yes.. I know.. I’m 40 and still don’t have a license).

Eh.. I don’t really need one. I did go out on a bike ride today (38KM on a single speed). It was awesome. It reminded me of all those times I’d just ride and let my mind drift into the ether. For some people they find spirituality in a building. I find it on a bike. I biked along the South Bay Beach Cities path (aka The Strand). The houses on there are amazing and it has to be the quietest path I’ve ever been on. I got as far as Marina Del Ray. The path itself is part of California Coastal Trail initiative. It kind of reminds me of the Trans Canada Trail but just not as long nor as cold.

I think I could kinda get used to all this… 😉

Wordless Wednesday: Yoga Pug Style

Wordless Wednesday: Happiness is…

First West Coast Ride but not the Last

Posted on by Posted in fitness, Life, Traveling/Work .

Well. I went out for an hour ride (truth be told I managed to get a little lost). But the good side was that the bike fared well so I should be able to use it next week. I did feel sa little naked without an helmet, gloves and whistle (i have a dingy bell but they are, IMO, useless in traffic and a pealess whistle is awesome). We’ll be heading to a couple of bike shops today and probably REI. My current helmet, somewhere in a box, is about 10 years old so its due to be replaced.

What I found truly interesting was that it pretty much felt like I had never stopped cycling. And the roads in this area of Los Angeles are a cyclist’s dream: perfectly smooth with no glass shards on them. This is very different compared to when I used to bicycle in Toronto. Get a smooth street with few people on was a rarity.

Hopefully the new visa stuff will come through and I can bike through more of the West coast.

Visiting the Great State of Texas

Posted on by Posted in Life, transition, Traveling/Work .

Well things are settling down. K told that the movers are coming today at 7:30am. I am assuming that they have already arrived and dropped stuff off. It will be nice to have a proper desk to do work on rather than the laptop cart I’ve been using for now.

As I write this I’m high above the great state of Texas and I have to admit that there are few places where I don’t feel welcomed. Texas was a first, particularly in San Antonio. It is a very Conservative (read: Tea party) town. It is also a heavily military town but I’m not sure that is the cause. People are polite and friendly but the fact that I wore sandals ( my Keens that I wear to EVERY class and company function I’ve taught and/or been at over the course of my 5 years with my company) along with the fact that I have a single plain eyebrow was bothersome enough for one student to comment that they were not “professional”.

I raise my studded eyebrow to this.

Ya. I don’t wear suits when i teach but I will guarantee that you will get the best educational experience from me. It is that belief that things are either black or white here that would make not want to live here. I had always thought that when I had visited my dad when he lived in Houston that it was the gated community concept where he had lived way back when. I am wondering, however, if I was picking up on the fact that I would never fit into this part of US culture, that traditional Puritan view of life.

I have always been everything but traditional. Growing up from awkward child to awkward adult and the silent peer reviews done by those known and not so known remains a challenge but one I’m not as perturbed as I used to be.

California, in contrast, is a state full of the awkward and unusual life who want nothing more than the same as every Puritan traditionalist — a life to enjoy, a job to bitch and moan about, good food and better beer, and to be accepted within the tribe around them.