In some ways so much is going on and yet, it does seem, in other ways that it isn’t that important. K and I went and saw Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail. This isn’t Oscar material but dayum, was funny! I needed funny. I’m doing better and I know that Rosie is in a better place now. I do want to thank everyone for their kind words. It has been greatly appreciated. I’ve been surprised how much has flowed. I know that some people don’t consider furrkids like kids and don’t understand how someone can get upset over a little critter but we can and do. Bobcat, I suspect, is starting to go through a bit of depression. She’s finally realized she’s the only one left. She’s been loking for Rosie and is starting to realize she’s not around or coming back. Since I’ve been in my office a lot lately (getting ready for an online teach this week), she’s taken to sitting beside or behind me. She’s also taken to being talkative (more like yelling) during the night. I’m hoping that this subsides soon as it kept me up most of the night. We leave our bedroom door open for her and I’ve even tried bringing her to bed so she won’t feel alone but no go.
Transitioning still seems like it will take forever to complete or move to the next stage. Part of that has been due to a hectic work schedule. It’s hard to schedule doctor’s visits when I can’t take half-days like I used to. As an instructor, I kind of have to be there for the full day. I try to schedule around my teaching schedule but the problem then arises that the doctor only has Wednesday’s available. This means that I have to find weeks that I’m not teaching to accommodate the doctor — and that can be a pain. Right now I’m trying to get something for the first week of April — only to be told that they don’t have April’s schedule yet. As a result, I’ll likely push out any top surgery until August since my May is booking up really fast.
Adding insult to injury was the fact that for a day or two, I didn’t seem to pass. I’m not sure what it is I’m doing — although I suspect it’s a voice thing. Time will settle that down. I also need to be more conscious of how I talk. Mannerisms do make a difference. I did find a few sites that talk about how the way men and women talk differently. I need to work on that a little more. It’s usually little things like talking slower, moving hands more (it’s too cold so that’s less likely), being definitive, etc. There are some things that I don’t want to do as I classify them as disrespectful masculine behaviours (e.g., dominance of a conversation, invasion of personal space, interrupting others, etc.) but I don’t think that one is male by doing those habits. I think that’s just rude.
I have been contemplating that perhaps losing weight will help me present more male, especially if I put on more muscle. I’ve never had a desire to be super skinny but rather “stocky” muscular. For me to do that, I’d need to lose about 40-60lbs. Not a lot but certainly, not a little. I actually had started “running” (more walking than running but definitely more movement) last week. I was doing it once every 2-3 days. I should have gone today but wussed out on being too tired. I may not be able to go to GIP tonight but perhaps I’ll go to bed early and then get up early with K to go for a quick run in the morning. The one advantage of teaching in CST timezone is that it’s a little later in the morning and means I can do a bit more. It will mean teaching a bit later in the evening but that’s livable for now.
What has been interesting, in my simple opinion, is that no one challenges me on these changes — outside of immediate friends and family (even then, it’s minimal). I keep expecting someone to have issue with me and yet, I haven’t faced it. My job is very public and very much customer facing. When I travel, I deal with all sorts of security types who seem to have no issue with the fact that I don’t like exactly like my photo (my face has changed considerably since I had the picture taken in Jan 08). I might try and see if I can get my name change done soon. There may be an opportunity for me to go to Vancouver in April and if so, it might be the perfect time to get a new passport done. I’m going to go on Monday to talk with the lawyers at the name changing clinic to see what advice they can offer (since it’s free) and how I might be able to go about doing this.
There will be other travel possible — San Fran in May and possibly Orlando in April (in addiction to Vancouver). It’s actually interesting since the company said they wanted to reduce travel costs. Granted, for the first quarter (Jan-Mar) I’ve been pretty much home based. I’ve been doing lots of online and have had only one week in Chicago. The rest has been online, in city (Wall Street area) or off-platform (not teaching but “learning”).
I think I’ll also file my taxes for the US on Monday. It’s weird. I’d get a decent chunk of change back from the federal level, only to have to give a decent amount of that to the state level. And I’m not quite sure how they do this. If I owe at the state level, is it just removed from my fed refund and I get the difference or do I have to actually pay the state level? (If I actually have to pay the state level, that’s just asinine). There’s a local H&R Block here who has a tax consultant from Canada. I figure he might be a good fit for me — and maybe he can help me with Revenue Canada (who’s still dragging their feet on last year’s tax return).
Anyways, nothing too exciting but it is life, no?