I have to admit that I rarely, if ever, watch your show. Most shows like yours, and Jerry Springer, often perpetuate the most base and uneducated view of society. It is unfortunate that given how many people you reach that you do so with an intent to harm. Your recent show on the transgendered parent and her daughter who transitioned from male-to-female is an unfortunate but shining example of this. The show, entitled Little Boy Lost, suggests that parents should “guide” their kids to society’s assigned gender and that it’s is curable, much like being gay is (apparently). It also, rather subtly, suggests that being transgendered is some kind of horrible, freak show. The parent in this show was treated with disrespect and wasn’t given proper advice on how to move forward. Much like the child figuring out that they need to let go of the past, so does the parent. I see no references to support structures or groups that could help this woman grieve for the past and celebrate the present. I thought you were about helping people find a path that can truly help them, by being honest with themselves and moving forward. For this family, it would mean getting support for the family to understand what transgender/transsexualism is, that there is nothing wrong with it and how to move forward with it.
But no, you would prefer to have present to the world these thoughts (emphasis mine):
“How did you make the decision to support him transitioning from male to female versus saying, ‘No, this is wrong, it’s an aberration, it’s a disorder, and he needs therapy’?” Dr. Phil asks.
“Because I knew that that wasn’t the right answer,” she says. “I knew all along something was different about him. He didn’t give me a choice. He didn’t really say, ‘Can I do this?’ He just said, ‘This is what I have to do to live.’”
Dr. Phil points out that Toni has two other sons who are not gender confused, which is at odds with Glenn and Dr. Nicolosi’s theory that gender confusion could be caused by an over-involved mother.
I would point out, Dr. Phil, that her new daughter is not “gender confused” either. She is very aware of who she is and what she needs to do to be seen as that by society’s blindness. It strikes me that society seems rather confused as to who she is and refuses to understand what she is going through. Additionally, the thought that the mother was over-involved is a tried and true excuse. It was previously used to describe effeminate heterosexual men as well as homosexuals. This theory has been discounted as a reason for homosexuality and much of the research going on today addresses a variety of “causes”. But that said, neither transgenderism nor homosexuality are “diseases”; they are, however, the evolution of individuals into something more than what the “average” cis-gendered person is.
“I just want to see your results,” Toni says to Dr. Nicolosi, defensively. “Where are your 16-year-olds now?”
“This is not just your position with transgendered children, you also believe the same thing in terms of gay and lesbian as well,” Dr. Phil says to Dr. Nicolosi, noting that he has written a book titled A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality. “You deal with that in your practice, correct?”
Kudos to the mother, Toni, for asking for “results”. Better yet, rather than going and promoting these two “quacks”, why not show the success stories of people who have transitioned and live their lives fully and successfully. Show fathers and mothers, like Toni, that it doesn’t have to be all sad and a matter of grieving but rather a life that can be enjoyed and lived fully. Preventing it, as these two suggest, opens up a greater chance of suicide (particularly those that are pre-op, pre-hormone and denied the right to be their true self) as well as a greater chance of a life lead in misery, confusion and shame.
Contrary to what some suggest, there is no shame in being yourself. We’re told this every day, even from the likes of Sesame Street. We’re told that it’s ok to accept others who are different from each other and then the likes of you promotes the fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) about trans individuals rather than celebrating the people they become. Do we always have to be bombarded by a negative view of life? Can we not be bombarded with success, happiness and fulfillment via paths not like what the average person experience?
Is it really that difficult?
Linus, who’s happy with life now.