I’m hopeful and yet..

I have to admit being scared. If I lose my job, I have to leave the US. And I have really no home to go to. I have up-to-eyeball debt and basically, suspect, that if the worst happened, I’d end up on the streets. Not really an option I want to think about. I probably could crash with a relative but I don’t want to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to them and would be yet another admission that I can’t look after myself in some fashion or another. The company just announced some restrictions including no raises, less travel, etc. For me personally, next year will be a year of cutting back. Since the new year is only a few weeks away, makes sense to put some notes in place for next year.

Resolutions/plans for 2009:

1. Cut back on cigar purchases to 2-5 cigars a month

2. eat in more often

3. gifts no more than $20/person

4. no junk food or soft drink purchases

5.  cut back on how much food is purchased

6. cancel gym membership (done as of today)

7. cancel warcraft membership

8. no friviolous purchases and buy 2nd hand were possible

9. cancel TV (K is doing this one)

10. pay off as much debt as I can.

It will require will power and it may mean holding off on name change and other things for a bit. I suspect it may mean the green card option won’t be possible for another year or so under the company so I may need to look for an option myself. One of the things that bodes well for me is that I have some specialized knowledge and it may keep me employed with the company for the time that is “scary”.

I also won’t be stopping my transition but I’m hoping that I’ll have the benefits and be able to do what I need to move forward. The most important thing I can do is be realistic while still being hopeful. Realistic means cutting back on expenses I don’t need. Magazine subscriptions, etc. are not needed and will be considered extraneous. I’m also going to hold off on vacations for another year or two. Perhaps then things will be better and it won’t be as scary.

One can hope, eh?