One of the things I’ve been thinking a lot of lately is when to flip that proverbial switch. I still, unfortunately, still don’t pass as I’d like. Granted, it’ll still take time before I full do but it’s still frustrating. Moreso, is the fear that is starting to build for me about others. It’s not a question of caring about what they think but rather what their actions will do in regards to my own life (and the safety of myself and those around me) as well as my career and other things. It’s very scary to read stories like the teacher out in California and the responses to that story (see the comments to the below of the article here). I see comments like this:
What is wrong with people!!?!?! Thats so sick, gah, makes me sick to my stomach! Those people should never teach! Im not going to get into this with you all, but the teacher should be stopped from teaching..this isnt south park (Mr.hat), these are real kids. And my kid would be transfered out of that class SO freaking quick and i would do my best to get them fired. Im surprised this took place in cali though… Kudos to the parents who are thinking for their kids saftey! Dont people see how this could harm children???
This teacher was a freak of nature and should be removed. Have you ever seen a wolf chew his nu%s off because “he” wanted to be a “she?” Even dumb animals won’t cross that line.
Why shouldn’t he teach? His ability hasn’t changed, just his gender. And given that this is an opportunity to learn, one would think it’s worthwhile to take this opportunity. The whole idea of being a freak of nature just highlights what some parts of society think of us (referring to transgender/transsexual/gendervariant individuals). Ya, I probably shouldn’t read these comments but the reality is I will face those that are very set in their views. For the most part, I know I will be ok but there is that nagging fear of “what if”.
Once I reach a point where no one knows, it won’t matter but I do worry about that point of transition when people do notice, where I haven’t fully transition or they knew me before. HIPPA won’t protect me from everything (laws are great but society takes far longer to update than laws on books). It is frustrating, however, that someone would think I would harm a child or that I’m a freak because I change my gender. The mass media and various religious leaders are who I get to thank for that, unfortunately. Simple kindness and respect for others seems beneath people at times and that’s a frustrating thing. I do not understand why it has to be their issue or why it should bother them at all. As long as I pull my own weight in society, do my job, respect and love my partner, obey the laws and “do unto others as I would have them do unto me”, why should I be seen as the villian?
A lot of this is being exacerbated by the US elections and certainly opinions are running high. People don’t want change, they don’t want to face it. They seem cemented in old traditional standards and refuse the possibility that perhaps people do change their gender; that perhaps it may even be the will of God. And, at the very least, it’s the will of God that we respect each other, but yet seem unable to do so. We’re more content at having something to hate, demonize and fear. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to live without those; what it’s like to leave with respect, admiration and understanding of a neighbour — without regard for the physical attributes.
And, to be honest, I have to say that the biggest political candidates are the Republicans. The idea of using FUD to continue keeping people in line with their beliefs and never questioning them is a tactic that perhaps is finally being seen what it is: fear-mongering. It’s working to a degree. I do fear for my life, a first for me. It’s very possible that one day I may be beaten up or worse for choosing this path. I may finally face full discrimination and hatred for being myself rather than what others want me to be (individuality be damned, eh?). But I’m not going to let that stop me. I will continue this. I spent a lifetime miserable and am finally happy (although could be happier if I won the lottery).
Anyways, I bring this all up because I’m looking at options to do top surgery and I suspect that will make passing and the transitioning go easier. But this will still be a challenge. I want to be open but society may push me to be stealth. 🙁