Heh. Who knew, eh? Yesterday I was miserable. I lost internet access for pretty much the whole day (from 8am to about 10pm). This was thanks to Ma Nature and the Rains. Lots of rains. So much rain, in fact, that the interwebs “signals were lost”. The geek in me hears this and goes “Whut?”. It’s not like we’re doing morse code or something. To make it worse, they had no clue as to when the “signals” would return. I’ve now realized that’s just code for “Once the rain stops, then all will be good”.
At least it seems back and stable now. As it happens, I’m teaching this week (well, couldn’t do it yesterday so will teach today and the rest of the week at least). And, to be honest, turning 40 really isn’t, in many ways, different than any other year. I figure I’m about half-way through life now and that’s fine. I look back at the first 40 and they have been interesting. Some things I wish I didn’t do, some things I wish I had done sooner and somethings I’m glad I did do. And I don’t regret any decisions in life. All those decisions brought me to the place I’m at in the here-and-now.
There are times when I feel I miss out on family and seem to crave that kind of closeness but I know that I need only to pick up the phone and call them to see how they are doing. Perhaps sticky notes to remind myself as I honestly forget. I had actually hoped to have a birthday party (I haven’t had one since I turned 21) but since so many of my friends and family are in Canada (gosh! My Facebook wall exploded!) it’d be hard to do. Perhaps my 50th we’ll plan a big too-do or something. It is nice, however, to be remembered and I am thankful for that. For me, to be honest, it’s never been about the presents or cakes or anything like that. It has always been about the memories I can forge with friends, family and loved ones. Those are things I can always hold on to no matter where I am in life.
This year is going to be a gangbuster year, I can tell. I’ve made some serious headway on finances; I’ll be decluttering and de-materializing (no, no.. not a transporter thing; just getting rid of “things” and “stuff”) as part of the move to California (still looking like late June/late July); getting my driver’s license (in California); getting new work visa (?) to stay longer and work towards a green card; and so on. Right now, I can honestly say that things feel right. I’m feeling whole (well, nearly whole — I still want to get necessary surgeries) but to feel so completely at one with one’s self is a novel feeling for me. And to feel it for the last couple of years, a blessing.
While I do miss talking (the little we did) with my dad, I’m very grateful for all the others who have come into my life.
So thank you, readers, friends, family alike, for letting me be me and for making my world this wonderful adventure!
Here’s to another 40 or more!