Going beyond transition

Monthly Archives: October 2009

Poor Man’s Gym (or is it Frugal Man’s?)

Posted on by Posted in Finances, fitness .

So after the Planet Fitness stuff and my recent doctor’s visit showed that I’m overall doing well as far as health I could use some exercise (one of the major challenges and downfalls to working at home more often than not). So I decided to make it simple and cheap.

1. Walking up all the stairs at least once a day for a week and then changing it two doing it twice in one “sitting”. I found out that doing this once will burn off about 140 calories (we’re on the top — 7th floor — of the building so I run down all the stairs and then walk up them at an even but brisk pace).

2. I have two kettle balls (one’s 15lbs and the other 25lbs) and an adjustable dumbell (from 1lb to 15lbs). I use these for simple curls, triceps and such.

3. I got an Iron Gym after recommended to me by a few guys in a support group. When I first started using it, I actually saw results. I don’t know why I stopped but I started again. Great for back muscles (lats, traps and such).

4. I haven’t started the situps and pushups yet but will start those soon.

I figure the sooner I get into this as a habit the better. From Jan until April 1 I’ll be home for all of it except two weeks (one week will be in Toronto and another in Vegas).

Dumb bell cost: $12
Kettle bells cost: $50
Iron Gym cost: $29.99
Sweat trickle down back, knowing I’m losing weight on my terms & without some contract: priceless.

Then and now (portrait comparison)

Posted on by Posted in photo blog, transition .

I figured it may be a good idea to show what I looked like back in 2007 to compare how I look now. How things have changed.I think I look better today than I did then but.. eh..

Back in 2007

Me back in 2007

Me today

Me today

Nothing to see here. Move along. Just a Canadian.

Cell phone Ad Funnies from Canada

The Name change game: Registry Ontario 1, Linus 0

Posted on by Posted in Politics, transition .

Wow. I’m kinda blown away. I talked with Service Ontario, the customer service arm of the Province of Ontario’s Government Agencies. In order to get my name changed, apparently, I need to have the name change verified, signed and embossed stamped by a Commissioner. And it MUST say Commissioner. Really!? Man. Talk about asinine. This highlights society’s dependency on labels rather than what the person is about. I recognize that you can’t just have anyone sign but having such a narrow definition of who an authority is just takes the cake.

This will mean another visit to Canada next year and that actually won’t be fun since it’ll likely be before or during our move to Los Angeles. Maybe I can visit my cousin out West and turn it into a mini-vacation or something. That or perhaps Montreal to visit my aunt and uncle there. This will mean a longer time before email is changed (they won’t change it until my SSN is changed and that can’t change until the work visa is and that can’t change.. ).

I was pissed enough to send a note to the Premier and Service Ontario. I doubt that anything will come out of it but at least I voiced my concern and perhaps started the seed to get this changed. I contacted my lawyer with TDLEF who helped me and he was shocked. The comment that a Commissioner is higher than a Court Judge highlights how silly this situation is. See my letter below.

I did a bit of search and found an entity known as a Commissioner of Deeds. It sounds kinda like a Notary of sorts. Hopefully, I can get this done either early next week or the week after. And then re-submit. Fingers crossed yet again.

Dear Premier,

I’m rather miffed about my home province and the legal rigeramole that I have to go through to get a name change. It’s not to say that it should be easy but it’s frustrating that I went through a legal process that is recognized in NY and yet, is not recognized by Registry Ontario because the City Clerk
s Title was City Clerk and not Commissioner.

Why we are dependent on it being specifically “Commissioner” and we don’t recognize a legal court system’s process is beyond me and creates unnecessary challenges. I tend to fall into a category that is unusual as I have no driver’s license (Ontario had great public transit when I was growing up so never made sense) and no other ID other than my passport.

In order to get my passport changed, I need to get both my Birth Certificate and SIN card change. If I lived in Ontario, this wouldn’t be that challenging but since I live in NYC (because of work and life), I’m left at the mercy of both Canada and US Postal services and no mechanism to expedite things to make my life a bit easier. As a transgendered individual this puts undo stress and challenges on me as I continue through life.

I implore you to consider a slight change to include a civil judge or city clerk (with embossed stamp) as other acceptable mechanisms for name changes.

Regards,

I lurve my company and am annoyed by Ontario Gov’t..

Posted on by Posted in Life, transition, Traveling/Work .

Or at least my manager. A few months ago, while running between flights and having to lug my laptop out for security checks, it dropped and caused some damage to the case. It was enough that it required a repair. Long story short, the expenses finally got approved because my manager believes in her staff that work for her. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s not enough to work for a great company; it’s the people that truly make the difference. Every day that I’m at my company I’m in awe of the knowledge and kindness that I get from colleagues and my manager.  Her actions reminded me how much I love working for my company, not just because the I love our products and believe in them so much but because the people are so awesome and humble. I told her I owed her a dinner for this but she said that she owed me one for all the times I’ve been flexible when they needed someone to fill in at the last minute. It capped a day that had been somewhat depressing but was ending on a good note.

On Thursday, while in Baltimore, I went to the local cigar store to unwind and won a hat as part of an event they had on. While relaxing, I connected my iPod Touch to the wireless and found out that the Matthew Shepard bill got approved by the Senate (I know that some may not approve or understand but as a trans individual, it adds a little more protection for someone like me). I think it shows more and more that what’s in the government, albeit slow as most large governmental organizations are, are good people and try to help where they can. It gives a little bit more of hope to me that ENDA might yet pass in the full form rather than a water downed version as was previously thought.

When I finally got back to NYC, I noticed a large envelope from Ontario. I was hopeful that it was my newly modified birth certificate. Apparently something isn’t right with the forms and the provided documentation. So before I go fully ballistic, I tried calling them (this morning, in fact). Unfortunately, their computers were down so I’ll try again tomorrow.

Sunday Morning Giggle: We’ve got a Rep for that.

Posted on by Posted in Politics .

As a Canadian, I find the US political system to be a challenge at time and others, well, down right giggly. One of my bigger problems is keeping track of the players. And since I’m a geeky type of person having it in an easy format, like say an iPhone/iTouch app, would be ideal. I’ve gotten to know some thanks to Rachel Maddow’s show and the segment TMI. But it would be nice to have a list of some sort that can tell me who the hypocrites are, the gay-bashers, etc.

And then I came across this. I couldn’t help but laugh. Someone has done it. I actually wouldn’t mind having an iPhone/iTouch app like this. It’d be easy to remember who I was having issue with given there are so many republicans that just seem to be a few cards short of the full deck at times. The actual creator has a webpage that details information about each of the listed reps, as well, for those of us who are not so US politico savvy.

Scratch Planet Fitness off my list..

Posted on by Posted in fitness .

I think I may just go basic and run up and down the stairs (that’s 7 flights of stairs with 13 steps each so a quick bit of math –> 91 steps) a few times for cardio in the winter. I have kettleballs, a simple dumbbell, Iron Gym Pull Bar (yes, that thing from TV), crunches, pushups and my Wii (for added excitement). I was thinking that the gym might be worthwhile because I could get a trainer at the location to help me focus a bit. Bally’s was already off my list. I’ve never been fond of them and any gym that can’t quote a price to me over the phone is out as is anyone who does hard sells (Bally’s is known for this). It shouldn’t be that hard.

Really, it shouldn’t.

NY Athletic Clubs were also out because they seem to have a similar rep and Lucille Roberts, a women-only’s gym, well, would present a problem now, wouldn’t it? So I thought why not take a look at Planet Fitness? They’ve been advertising a low rate ($20/month, no contract) and had simple gym design. They weren’t for the fitness buff but for the person who needed to get into a shape other than round (the side effect of a geek’s life, even a vegan one). So I sent them out an email to find out what packages they could offer and asked what their position was on transgendered/transsexual individuals. They replied today with a cheerful email about all the things they offered, a listing of two payment options (contract and no contract). And, oh ya. The transgendered thing? They go by the state/federal documents identifier.

Ya. Not for me.

At the least they notified me in advance to avoid embarrassment and I will be writing them a “thanks but no thanks” letter. It’s fine if my passport says that but reality is that I don’t look like that letter. And I can bet that many women won’t want a guy in their change room. It’d be too disruptive and likely to set their “Lunk alarm” off (their “lunk alarm” is something akin to an air raid that goes off when someone drops the weights heavily, intentionally or not). They probably didn’t think of that when they sent me the email.

Sigh.

Society will always have me pegged in the wrong hole until I have all surgeries so that I can fit into the little single box that someone sets out for me, eh? On the top end of the scale, this boils down to money. Or more succinctly, potential loss of money and the cost to create an environment that would be open to all. And by all, “they” mean the cisgendered society at large. Conforming means that things are all the same and often costs are lower as a result. Additionally, there is the potential loss of existing customers when a “we’re-not-quite-sure-but-it-may-be-an…??” comes into a change room, customers may get that “ick!” feeling and will let management know about this, in both loud voice and dollar signs. However, let’s be honest here: the concern isn’t really an FTM in the men’s change room but rather the MTF in the women’s. It is the old idea that a “man” (physical stuff between the legs concept) is some kind of perv who wants to rape.

It makes me wonder if some of the health issues that many trans individuals face pre and post surgery isn’t due to the surgery or hormones but from the lack of access to facilities to do necessary exercises (e.g., I would love to be able to work out at 5am, grunting and sweatin’ to the oldies — which for me is the 70s and 80s). And that second guessing ourselves comes from a lack of body image and chance to adjust that image because of a lack of facilities. Now all of this is supposition on my part given that many trans individuals, particularly here in the US, sink a fortune into the day-to-day needs of legal costs, hormones, doctors and surgeries (never mind the fears that comes with what society has portrayed many as — monsters). And when you do all of that, your living costs will often be kept to a minimum so that means smaller place to rent/buy and less food options (often resulting in cheaper options).

I guess I’ll have to figure out something on my own to work out and improve my overall fitness. Running up and down those stairs should be a good start but it’s a shame that I couldn’t find a place where I could do it without potentially waking up my neighbours and actually get advice when I need it.

Getting financially and physically fit

Posted on by Posted in transgender, transition, Traveling/Work, vegan stuff .

One of the nice side effects of teaching at home is that I tend to not spend as much financially. I just can’t go out to the store and buy things. I just don’t see the “things” out there. But one down side is that I tend to become a bit of a home body and my body tends to become a specific shape (round). I remember when I used to bike to and from work a few years ago. I was able to keep my weight down without being super skinny. I actually liked being “stocky” and was ok with being a few pounds overweight (for my height I’m supposed to be about 110-125 lbs — I really am big boned and find I look best around 140-150) but didn’t want to be obese. A side effect of traveling is the food that often ends up being eaten, even if a vegan (e.g., fries and the like). I’ve been a horrible vegan and have done a few slips over the last few months.

I don’t know why (perhaps it’s the T kicking in more) but my cravings for salt have gone to huge cravings for dead things. While it’s been mostly fish (I suspect due to heritage and early childhood experiences) I’m afraid of a slippery slope effect. I need to get back on track. My schedule for Oct/Nov/Dec has too much of a mixture for me to focus long enough on getting back into shape. But starting January I’ll be home, if my schedule sticks, for 3 months (except for one week in Toronto) starting usually at 9am CST (that’s 10am for me) with an occasional 8am CST start (9am for me). I figured if I could find a gym close enough that was open early enough it might be an option for me to go early in the morning (say 5-6am to beat the business rush). I know enough about fitness and training that I should be able to do this on my own — it’s just will power and consistency. Because I will have 3 months where I could get into a rhythm and turn it from an occasional thing into a more permanent activity and habit this could prove well at helping me lose some weight before we move out west. It would also help for when I get ready to have surgery (weight loss for larger sized FTMs is often a pre-requisite).

Now, while I have great idears reality may slap me in the face. I found one gym that is 24 hours M-F and has early hours on Sat/Sun. The one challenge will be, of course, the change rooms. It’ll be winter so I can’t really just dress in gym clothes, work out and leave. Most gyms I know won’t allow people to keep their bags/jackets near them when they work out and lockers are often inside the change room area. I doubt that this gym will be “trans friendly” but who knows. I may luck out. I just have this feeling that I won’t be able to use it in the winter or I will have to come dress in my gear and have minimal ID/cash on me. I’m still trying to figure out how best I could do this. Have any other trans individuals dealt with this?

The Stars Make No Noise

Posted on by Posted in Life .

You know, I grew up in cities all my life. But I don’t know why noise pollution is affecting me so much now. I suppose after 4 months of non-stop (except for Sundays) drilling, concrete sawing, jack hammering and the vibrations all of those entail (and yes, all the way up to the top floor where I’m at on the 7-story building we live in) is starting to grate on me in no uncertain terms. I nearly cried when I heard them start up today. I thought they were finished since the main doorway was finally available for us to use this weekend. No such luck. I can’t open my window because of the noise and the drilling goes right through my feet. Lately I’ve been playing WoW (finally got to level 80 with my tauren hunter! w00t!) until about 1:30am due to insomnia and just general restlessness. Even though K let’s me sleep until whenever, I feel exhausted still. I find I get irritated too often and tense. My job, while challenging, isn’t a stressful kind of challenge (one of the reasons why I like it).

I recognize that it needs to be done but I will be very grateful when it’s finally done with (although, it’ll likely be done when I’m no longer teaching from home or when we move with my luck). We worry so much about visible pollution that we don’t consider the effects of noise pollution. I miss my aunt’s place, which is set in a very small community just outside of Halifax. The most noise you’ll hear are crickets, june bugs and neighbours talking to each other. And they are more calm. I wonder sometimes if the massive honking and such that is common in the area is a direct result of people being affected by noise pollution. K and I have been talking about moving to Los Angeles next year. I think I’m going to see if we can move to a place that is a little bit off the main strip. Or, at least is new enough that there won’t be any foreseen construction (things happen, I know).

K and I have been talking about potentially settling down in Oregon or Washington State in a small town/city (say, something under 20,000 pop.). While there are a variety of good reasons why (e.g., often closer knit community, stability, better family options, etc.) and certainly some drawbacks (e.g., nosy neighbours, less options for “things”), one of the main things for me is a more slowed lifestyle and quieter lifestyle. But utter silence is so appealing right now.

To be able to look up into a pitch black sky, twinkling with diamonds of planets and stars yet discovered…