Going beyond transition

Monthly Archives: August 2009

Must-see DVD: For the Bible Tells Me So..

Posted on by Posted in LGBTQ .

I just finished watching this DVD (thanks Netflix) and gotta say: the more I investigate how Christianity works the more I believe what Ghandi said. One of the things that seems evident of some here in the world is that if it is written then we are to interpret it as it is written and consider nothing else. The assumption is that the world  never changes and should never change. That it, like God, are constants. But I wonder if some got the message a little screwy, like the Telephone game that kids play. You know, the one where a secret message is told in a large group and by the time you get to the last person the “peanut butter and jelly sandwich” has become the “green elephant on the marshmallow roof”.

The world changes although the actual text, often left to interpretation by us little mere mortals, doesn’t change that much. And from that text are pulled some common quotes:

Leviticus 18:22 (King James Version)

22Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (Source)

The Leviticus quote is the most common one done by various groups who pontificate on the evils of homosexuality. It is interesting that this is often choosen as the main text by, as per the DVD, “literals” — those that take the Bible and read it literally. The challenge to this is that we forget to main points: 1) the Bible were written by men (there are no passages, AFAIK, written by women) and their take on God 2) those letters were written 2,000 in a different time and place than today and 3) were written a few hundred times until we reached where we are today. The Bible is one of the longest ongoing telephone games around. What is often forgotten was that this was, as theologians put it, a form of “holiness” code. A holiness code was a code of behaviours put forth in contrast to the “non-Jews” at the time period. It was a challenge to the excesses and desire to live by right. Many religions and philosophies have that built in. Even in Buddhism we have the 5 Percepts which includes a precept to “abstain from sexual misconduct and sensual overindulgence2“. Does that mean homosexuality? No. It means to ensure that sex is treated as the intimate and relationship building behaviour that it should be; and that it be done with consent between people. In the context of Leviticus, it was a commentary of what was going on at the time by the “pagans” — particularly the wealthy to-do ones who used sex as an activity for the sake of demeaning one’s enemies rather than the union of people.

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
Mahatma Gandhi quotes (Indian Philosopher, 1869-1948)

Genesis 19 talks about the infamous Sodom and Gomorrah, the so-called wicked twin cities. Now this one might have more relevance today but not for the reasons that I think many of us have been taught. The whole story, when you read it, isn’t about the so-called “wicked sexual behaviour” but rather the denying someone into your home with open arms and feasting in the presence of another. Basically something that is sorely lacking in today’s society. We too often sit behind closed doors and refuse others to come in, offering shelter, help, love, laughter and a meal. God, as per this passage, smote the cities because people were — basically — refusing to be human to each other. The site I used for the Leviticus passage allows you to see how each various Bible interpretation lists the passage for Genesis 19:5. The original King James version reads: “And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.” (emphasis on the last words mine). As I flipped to other versions, this got changed to “that we may have sex with them”. At a time when the privileged individuals of cities were turning away “strangers”, it was important to know who existed within the gates and if they were deemed unworthy, they were shunned or worse.

This isn’t about homosexuality or anything else. It’s about how we treat each other and that we should treat each other, even when we are complete strangers, with respect and with the most important message of the Bible that is often forgotten: love. That is what it is ultimately about, isn’t it? Perhaps we need to be more like Christ again and open our doors to each other. If our concern is about where our society is going, then I think we need to start by asking ourselves a simple question: how do I treat the strangers that walk into my life, asking for the simplest of help?

Anyways, the DVD does definitely give thought to both sides of the fence and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to understand the Bible a bit more.

The Catch-22 of a Name Change

Posted on by Posted in transition .

As a Canadian living in the US, I face neat little challenges regularly. Red tape is a fact of life by being this kind of visitor. Now, of course, being a Canadian I am honest about what I am and what I do. I follow the rules, particularly when it comes to US Immigration et al. And so I was recently faced with the chicken and egg concept: when changing one’s name in the US, as a non-citizen, what do I change first: SSN or Passport? The answer, I figure, is passort and work visa. So I went to the TDELF to have them help me navigate the waters of the US legal system. Apparently, I’m one of the first they’ve ever had who has changed the name in the US and then gets to face the home nation and it’s red-tape.

Once all the appropriate documents were filed and once the name publication is done, I will be able to obtain my certified copies of name change (10 in all). YAY ME! So as the lawyer goes through that process, I decided to get a head start on the Canadian side of thing. I called the Ontario Registry (they look after births, deaths and marriages) and asked about how to get my birth certificate modified. They explained it, saying that all I’d need is the certified copy, a letter from a guarantor and why I was using a non-Canadian for it (i.e., have been living in the US for two years now). Simple enough. One red tape issue addressed. I then called Passport Canada.

Now things get tricky. To get the new passport I need the amended birth certificate along with a signed piece of ID. No problem right? NOT. The 2nd ID MUST have the new name. The thing is, I do not drive and have no other form of ID other than passport. So I’m kind of in a chicken-and-egg thing. In order to get State ID, I must use my passport and visa but I suspect that will only get ID that will reflect my now-old name. In order to get State ID with new name, I need my passport to reflect that and.. oh wait.. You can see the quandary I’m in. So, I think I’m going to try to see about updating my SIN card (that’s a Social Insurance Number in Canada for those of you from the US). I think I used that previously to get my passport done.

I figure the wait time for the two initial pieces of ID — birth certificate and SIN card — will take until sometime mid-November. So come January I’ll have to trek up to Toronto or Montreal or even Halifax or even Calgary (actually, maybe Montreal, Halifax or Calgary– I can visit family in any of those cities and get the NEXUS while there as well) to get the passport done. Perhaps I should also get a federal ID card while I’m at it (Canadian citizenship card, I believe they are called). I think once the SIN is done I can then do all the credit cards. And once the passport is done then I can get the US SSN done and have that reflective — FINALLY — on my work email. I’m still hopeful that a green card is in my future but if I can get all this done before the final application for that is done, then life will be good.  Whatever the process, I will be documenting it here as I have a feeling I’m not the first nor will I be the last person who has to do this.

Ain’t government process fun?? 🙂

Rambles on a Sunday morning

Posted on by Posted in Life, transition, Traveling/Work .

This past week has been particularly brutal — as far as teaching went — but I came out with flying colours and an amazing review. I can’t post it here (company confidential and all that) but suffice to say that I (and my colleague) did so well teaching that we topped a few decades of professional courses. This week coming up I’m off platform and then off to San Francisco to teach for the week. I think my pass rate is now up to about 90% so my transition is continuing along nicely. I still have some body issues (gender related) and am still trying to figure out how to address top surgery (mostly the cost).

I’m contemplating using a tax return (next year?) to use as the base or most of it and then continue from there. I find it so frustrating at times knowing that if I stayed in Ontario a bit longer this could have been taken care of and would be one less stressor in my life. Anyways, it’s fine. There are, sometimes, more important things to life than the materialistic view we put on things. I’m not foolish enough to believe that Obama’s Health care reform will include SRS/GRS surgery support. I’ve looked over the various websites and listened to recent Weekly Address and know that it’s not there. In fact, I worry that as a legal foreign worker (on a valid visa) whether I would get covered here or not, even if I’m paying into my benefits program.

Those unknown things are always a challenge. Add on to it that I’m still figuring out how the program works. PPO vs HMO vs Exclusive PPO. Deductibles vs non-deductible programs. Sigh. How about just “coverage”? How about not telling me that I must go to this hospital/HMO to get covered? And as much as I try to research this stuff, there seems little info out there that’s really helpful. And if I decided to drop it, I cannot find a provider (at least for a reasonable price in NYC) that will cover what I want. But even in Canada, not all provinces cover GRS. As of this writing only 2 do (BC and Ontario). I think many have a misconception that GRS/SRS is an optional thing. It really isn’t. This isn’t like elective plastic surgery. This is more akin to reconstructive surgery after an accident or due to an ailment.

Anyways, on to some happier stuff. This week is rather important as Tuesday I will be standing in front of a judge for a name change. This is the 2nd time in my life I do this. And when I consider what the meaning of my original name (“pool” or “running water”) to my choosen name (“flax”) it made me think that it is a growth kind of thing. In order to grow flax, you do need water and soil. I suppose one could use the soul as the soil, the Before life as the water and the Present life as the seed to the future (flax). Well, it sounds romantic and inspiring to a degree.

Poll Results: A lot of buckets out there

Posted on by Posted in Politics .

It appears that many of you have a bucket list of some sort (67%). Pretty good. In a lot of ways, having goals in life help us to live long lives because we have something to live for. I suspect that’s partially why those with lots of friends, married/partnered and a positive outlook in life tend to have longer lives. Good habits aren’t the only methods of ensuring long life. In fact, they aren’t indicators of long life. You look at someone like George Burns, who smoked 15-20 cigars a day, and compare him to someone like Ron H. Daws died at age 55 (he was competitor in 1968 Olympic marathoning, avid runner, cross country skier, etc.). Reducing the stress in life (e.g., through laughter, friendship, etc.) is the mechanism, to me, that helps one live longer and enjoy things. How we view life and realize that not only living in moment is critical as is looking towards living in the future.

I also believe in preventative health care matters. In February I asked if universal health care was needed in the US. Now that things are closing closer to some kind of finalized deal, I wonder (especially if we include the recent costs that the US went through and have still to go through) if it’s still viable. I have some doubts as to whether this could be similar to what is seen in Canada, as an example. Health care here is highly capitalized and about the the ultimate cost/bill rather than the health of the patient. And a lot of the “discussion” isn’t a discussion after all: it’s a yelling match between two parties and by both. Neither is really listening and the clock continues to tick on those not covered. So, here’s the question (and this month’s poll): is the proposed health care bill the solution?

To help clarify what makes up some of this issue, I’ve included some links to the Washington Post that breaks down some of the costs and numbers behind everything.

How the Bills Stack Up

In Search of Health Care Reform

What Does Health Care Mean for You?

A Sphere of Influence

Cranky furrkids are still very loved.

Posted on by Posted in Daily life .
bobcat

Bobcat awake (rarity!)

Bobcat has been sleeping lots of late. I’ve begun to wonder if the FeLV is finally taking hold. Hard to tell. I mean, she is a cat and she likes to sleep. She’s also extremely temperamental. And mostly mental. We went to the Vet today and found out she’s lost 1 lb in 3 months. That’s a lot for a cat and isn’t a good thing. I treated her to some good salmon tonight in hopes of helping her eat some and also as a treat after putting up with far too much poking and prodding. She had urine drawn (I think she might have a urinary tract infection), blood drawn, temperature taken (rear-ended), nails cut and strange people holding her. She fought and howled the whole time. You’d swear she was being tortured or something.

Anyways, we’ll get blood results tomorrow. I’m hopeful that the FeLV hasn’t gotten worse and that her weight loss is more the result of being picky. She’s my last furrkid we’ll have for a while. We’re not allowed to have furrkids here and given that we’re likely to move to California (although with everything going on there, I’m not sure how well it will go). The distance of the move would be a lot for a new kitten or other furrkid. But we’ll see. So today was a long day (I started at 7am and have yet to go to bed). Keep Bobcat in your thoughts. I really don’t want her to go through what the kittens went through. She hates the vet enough.

Southern Comfort Documentary (2001)

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, trans activism, transgender, transition .

I’ve been absent from my support group of late. A lot of it is because of work. The reality is that there is only so much time in a day and teaching, often, in the CST timezone means that I often don’t finish until 6pm EDT. Sometimes I’m on the road.  Since it takes an hour to get to group it means I often miss out on attending. It’s hard at times since the group is often the closest thing to an extended, closer-to-touch family. I do miss it. One of the things I’ve wanted is a large family to be around. I’ve known a large part of my life alone. Having that option where I could invite friends over, have a beer and a cigar, yap, laugh, etc. is something I’ve wanted. Having siblings of some sort, with some kind of shared experience of life, is the other thing I’ve wanted.

Today, as I avoided doing some work, I watched Southern Comfort (2001). It was a wonderful DVD in that it showed the great family connection that Robert Eads and his “sons” made but heartbreaking and maddeningly baffling that the health care system so blatantly ignored the basic raison d’etre for health care: to look after those that need medical help. I have to say that I’m incredibly luckier than most at the support that I’ve gotten from the medical profession here in NYC. As much as I want to move to small town, parts of me worry about the exact issue that Mr. Eads experienced during his lifetime. To die of a curable cancer because no one would treat you is just wrong. My post this morning was about universal health care and whether it could exist here. I have doubts since patient’s rights are not something that seem to be considered.

To keep the good of the patient as the highest priority. — Modern Hippocratic Oath #7

Since so many doctors are taught to put the value of medicine before the needs of the patient, even if universal health care came to be many patients will be ignored because they do not fit into the societal definition of male or woman. I’m not sure how denying someone medical help because they are trans is ensuring that the “good of the patient” is being kept as a priority compared to one’s own fears, prejudices and ignorance. And before someone says that it was perhaps the medical profession was unable to do it, when they called they referenced the trans portion at the end. Until those words were mentioned, the medical professions were eager to help. As to the reasoning as to why they refused to help isn’t clear. It could be anything from fear to ignorance to just place hatred?

I’m sure a lot has changed since this video was made, especially since the Southern Comfort Conference is held in Georgia. But I’m sure there are still areas and medical centers that still discriminate against trans individuals. I wonder how much this is changing with the more visible younger trans guys that are more evident these days? Hopefully, the economy isn’t used as an excuse to prevent an individual from getting support these days. One can only hope that one day health care will be about providing patients with the best possible care, regardless of who the patient is.

Through a glass darkly…

Posted on by Posted in Life, Politics .

I look out the window to the darkest of skies. The thunderstorm is coming soon. But it’s not the rain, lightening or thunder that worry. Even the potential hint of a tornado isn’t of concern. It’s what’s in front of the storm. The bleakness shone through the blackened windows. The gray lifeless walls held memories of a life once lived. It was one of many little hovels grouped together in an attempt to create a complex of exist. Life tried to poke its way through as kids ran down the carless street, unaware of the vast poverty and dismay of the area. Dreams that might have once lived have faded and been burned away like the charred wall paper that juts out of one exposed wall. The only two kids on the street. For them, it is their playground: an old rusted can becomes a ball, a rebar becomes a bat and an old klunker home base.

Rounding first (a broken Coke bottle), I see him race for second base while his opponent chases after the can. I return back to my USA Today. I see an ad extol about the “horrors” of socialism, the threat of “socialized” health care and how a private health care system is the only valid one for the US. The US’s poverty rate is around 12% (higher than the 10% claimed by the ad), Canada around 6% and Cuba is an unknown although I’d peg it around 90%. What’s interesting is that the HDI (Human Development Index — the index that indicates things like life expectancy, literacy, education and standards of living) lists Cuba at 48 on the HIGH category (Canada is 3 while the US is 15).

Right now the US is debating (yet again) what to do about health care. on one side, people believe that pay-per keeps costs down and wiser use of health care. On the other is universal health care where it’s available for all, regardless of whether someone is employed or not. Anyone gets health care coverage and it should limit the possibility of going into debt over health care. But there is one thing that isn’t being considered and is really needed. The reality is that health care is about people. One of the challenges in the US is that it overemphasizes monetary profit, whether for hospitals, staff, benefits programs, etc. It’s not to say that profit isn’t a consideration in places like Canada (Canadian doctors can make the same or slightly below what is made in the US) but there are less extras to address (like malpractice insurance, etc.). I don’t know if the US will ever be able to have a health care that will be effect at helping it’s populace, particularly those in most need, be able to get help — both reactive and proactive/preventative.

The Acela train I’m on continues its fast race to New York. The bleak looking ghetto is on the outskirts of Philadelphia. It reminded me of Mexico City except there it was colourful. Here, its grey, burned and discarded from the rest of society. It is often how the wealthier parts of the country view those without: they are drab, lifeless “things” to discard. Giving those without hope a chance for it can help reduce poverty and give dreams to those who need it.