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Monthly Archives: January 2009

Class: 1st Lady HAS It!

Posted on January 31, 2009 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .

CLASS  1st Lady HAS It

It’s interesting, now that I think about it, how Palin was viewed as a MILF during the election when really it should have been Michelle. This picture, a fine example of work by Annie Liebowitz, shows us a First Lady that is poised, fashionable and fierce. The simplest word I know: hot. Damn hot.

Ok. Two words.

3 Comments .

Life. Meh.

Posted on January 28, 2009 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .
Buddha prayer beads protecting Obama

Buddha prayer beads protecting Obama

It’s raining outside, melting away the multitude of inches of snow we got last night. A dreary day to say the least. I can almost hear Snoopy typing that infamous phrase “it was a dark and stormy night..”. Not quite night but close enough with the dark clouds. It’s weather like this that I find depressing if it continues non-stop. This is probably one of the big reasons why I shouldn’t move to a place like Vancouver or Halifax; too much rain. I suppose one good side-effect is that I’d read more and write more but that’s about it. I did have a doctor’s appointment today but ended up canceling it. It’s resulted in me changing some plans. I was going to see about having surgery around the beginning or mid-May but now may put that off until mid-late August, simply because it’ll be easier to plan that far in advance. I won’t be able to see my doctor until April 1 because of my schedule: I have 8 weeks back-to-back of teaching. Unlike my job previously in support, where I had a flexible time-schedule I don’t have as much luxury for this because of the need to have a set time for classes (mostly 9-5 EST).

The real downside to this is a summer still in a binder but that’s ok. It’ll give me the winter to heal some and perhaps get the tattoo I want next summer. Perhaps it’ll work out better in the long run as it may give the economy a chance to recover some and perhaps give me more options for other avenues of income. I’m very lucky and grateful for the fact that I still have a job and it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere. And even more thankful that it’s a job I enjoy doing a lot. I’ve been watching the Dow Jones and the news a lot recently, hoping that the turn-around might come sooner. Watching Obama’s activity of late, it’s starting to feel like a real possibility. Today, hopefully, he’ll pass through a massive stimilus package that will target the creation of jobs through infrastructure, health and education avenues. Some would certainly be short term, quick stuff while others longer term. I suspect that my company might get some side-effects to it as the US Fed has a lot of interest in what we do, all good for us in the long run.

The other part that’s interesting is the tax rebate. It does make me wonder if I will qualify for it. I’m still waiting for Revenue Canada to finish my taxes from 2007 and this will be my first year filing here in the US. I have to admit that I’m kinda nervous, scared and well, confused. In Canada I can literally file taxes on a single sheet. Here… OY! I may try to find some software or online website where I can do this. I don’t have much fancy stuff but have to contemplate whether I can declare some of my cigars as a business expense (I do often pick up cigars just to review on my website); whether rent is a tax-deducation; what medical expenses I can claim and what travel expenses, if any, I can also claim.

Sigh.

I can see why there are so many CPAs in the country and am surprised there aren’t more printing presses to publish all the various tax documents. Anyways… nutshell stuff:

Transition: going well. The T is starting to show development in other places (damn males in the family are hairy!). My voice still flutuates but it’s interesting and fun to be called “sir” or “mr” when on the phone with a still feminine name. Name change will probably be put off for a while yet. I was going to go to my support group tonight but I’m wussing out because of the crappy weather. It’s ok as I have found some nice online forums that I’m finding support with.

Job: it’s there and I’m happy

Love life: perfection. Yes, yes. I’m a romantic. That ain’t going to change any time soon. Now, not to say we don’t have our occassional glitches or arguments or what-have-you (usually over who has the last piece of chocolate or what show to watch on TV) but it’s filled more often with laughter, giggles and snark.

Budget: Meh. I need to work on this more.

Weight: See budget. Pushing out my surgery will give me more time to settle back into a better routine and lose weight. I do have to get more active again and still need to figure out some kind of bicycling schedule. I may have to limit it to weekends (say 2-3 hours each day) and on Mondays when I don’t have to travel (and the occassional Friday I don’t have to travel). The plus side would be to bring my camera with me to take more pictures.

So that’s the quick update. I did see that rants go well for discussion. Perhaps I should have more..

2 Comments .

Which Lolcat are you?

Posted on January 25, 2009 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .


Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test…

7331 Cat

46% Affectionate, 52% Excitable, 56% Hungry

Lolzergs have nothing on you. You are swift and ruthless, cutting down whatever and whomever necessary in order to obtain the foodz. As one of the first lolcat known to man, your ancient skills in location-declaration and object-verbing have been passed down several generations, keeping the spirit of felinity alive.

To see all possible results, checka dis.


Take The Which Lolcat Are You? Test
at HelloQuizzy

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Tags: lolcat .

Trans folk does include trans guys, yanno!

Posted on January 25, 2009 by Linus Posted in transgender, transition .
This is what a trans guy looks like..

This is what a trans guy looks like..

Ok. This is going to be a bit of a rant. Before I begin, I do want to point out a couple of things. First, everything I talk about here is my own experience and my own subjective, narcissistic view. I cannot speak on behalf of others, for others, etc. I may be able to retale what someone has mentioned to me but that isn’t necessarily my experience. Second, I do love my trans sisters. I’ve learned a lot from them about life in general, their trans folk experience and the discrimination that is often faced. What they have to go through to become who they are is amazing. What they have had to go through in the last 20-30 years, as many of them were the forefront trans activists, is just as amazing if not more so. I do respect everything about them. And find many of them incredibly beautiful in addition to intelligence (which for me has always been a turn-on). That said…

Why is it that when the mass media, researchers or others hear the word trans they think “trans woman”? Are we that invisible? I know that trans guys make up a far smaller percentage of the already small percentage of trans individuals. But that doesn’t mean we don’t exist. And we’re not all pregnant guys either. So far, the image of a transguy has be rather limited in the mainstream public eye. It’s frustrating for me to find role-models for me, a guy who transitions late in life but is happy with it. I look at the mass news media and when they write about trans individuals, it seems that it’s primiarily about trans women. Part of me wonders if it’s because we may blend in so well and pass so easily that we go stealth and become somewhat an unforgotten part of trans history or trans society. So far, only one place I know has a higher percentage of trans men and that’s at the Philly Trans Health Conference (I think it was 50-50 for last year and very young too).

As I wrote this I decided to see if I could find some photos of trans men to post. What I found was even better. Lynn Conway has created such a site that recognizes some great role models for trans men and, as a result, records some of our history to follow. But it’s still little things. The trans community is well-aware of us men and we often have places where we can put our hats on but outside of there, it almost feels like we’re nonexistant. I suppose that’s good in one way: we seem to have less violence against us (in general — there is always violence against trans individuals and moreso is targetted towards, very unjustly, POC; side thought: TOC, trans of color?). The only thing I can attribute to this disjointed and slanted view of trans society is that trans women are more visible. They have been fighting the fight for many years in a more prominent view in more numbers than trans men. It’s not that we aren’t there but.. well. I dunno. It’s too much generalization to say that we settle down more, start families and become devouted to those. Or perhaps we are able to keep our present jobs and want more to blend in, and are able to blend in far easier.

Whatever the reason, I do wish and hope that society would see trans individuals as more than trans women.

Sigh.

13 Comments .
Tags: FTM, MTF, trans society, transgender, transition .

Video Blog for January 22, 2009

Posted on January 23, 2009 by Linus Posted in Life, transition .

2 Comments .
Tags: Life, transition, video blog .

View from Above for Jan 20, 2009

Posted on January 22, 2009 by Linus Posted in Life, photo blog, Politics .

I downloaded and slightly modified this picture from GeoEye’s Website. If you look in the center at the little “grayish/brown specs” you’ll realize those are people. And there were a lot of them there.

 inauguration_2009-small

January 20, 2009 Inauguration from Space

2 Comments .
Tags: 2009, inauguration, Obama, photos, pictures, Politics, US .

… there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States

Posted on January 19, 2009 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .

Some pretty amazing things are happening right now and will happen tomorrow. I dunno if my students will be paying attention to me or not (some of us have to work for a living so we can’t participate in the fun of the inaugaration) but I’ll be a talking-head at least to educate them on what they came to learn. As I live (as one of them crazy Canuckians on a legal visa) here during this process I’ve noticed a slight change in people. Even with the worst of the worst economic fears ahead of them, there is this little jump in their step, a smirk on their face. What ails the US (and often the rest of the world follows) won’t be solved overnight. Heck, it may never be solved.

But, when you give hope a door often opens that leads to something better and greater. Over my lifetime thus far, I’ve researched and learned about the idea of positive thinking. Now keep in my I ain’t an expert or anything but my understanding of it, as simple as it may be, is that if one thinks positively, good things will happen. More important if you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll feel more positive. Well.. yes and no. What I do know is this: we tend to like and want to be with happier people. And (I know it’s been reported somewhere) happier people are more productive, which means they’ll do more. When they do more, they’ll need more. When they need more, more jobs will be created to fill that void. And thus.. Well, you get the idea.

I think one of the most powerful things about what might be coming (assuming that what I’ve understood about Obama thus far) is that he really is open to all types of people, whether he agrees or not with them. And that is something that has been missing here for a while. The Invocation by Rev. V. Gene Robinson highlights that. I leave you with that in tonight’s blog.

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire

Opening Inaugural Event
Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC
January 18, 2009

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God’s blessing upon our nation and our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln’s reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy’s ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King’s dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters’ childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we’re asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN.

You can see the video here. Apparently a speaker broke so many couldn’t hear it and HBO didn’t show it to the viewing audience.

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Quick Note on Comments

Posted on January 19, 2009 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .

Thank you everyone for comments but I noticed that the recent batches aren’t matching up with the post. To put a comment in for a post, look to the top right of the post (just below the title) and you’ll see the comments section for that post. 🙂

Dunno why (unless this isn’t rendering right in Internet Explorer or something). 🙁

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15 More things about me…

Posted on January 18, 2009 by Linus Posted in Life, Uncategorized .

Arwen felt I should add a few more so I’m adding 15 more things about me (in addition to the original 10 I just did):

11. I used to be an ice hockey goalie (for 8 years) and had a GAA (Goals Against Average of about 1.35). I loved playing for the pure fun of it and sometimes miss it. It’d be too expensive and perhaps a little too painful — for my butt — to return.

12. I had a basset hound, named Blue Bayou, as a kid. We had her for about 3 years before we had to give her up. I miss having a dog as a regular part of the family.

13. I became vegetarian at age 36 and vegan at age 37. It was a fairly easy thing for me to do as meat never really was a huge thing for me, although fish is still something that I get an occassional craving for (I think that’s a heritage thing)

14. I am a “pure” Acadian by birth. Both my parents were/are decendents of Acadians and bilingual. Both are from New Brunswick and both can trace their families all the way back to France in the mid-1600s. I am proud of the Acadian heritage but still hate the compliance to slavery and racism that the families have historically done (I can’t escape that as a white guy)

15. I used to be a Michael Jackson fan in the worst way. I still like the music. His life? Eh. Janet, however, is far more interesting to watch.. grin

16. I was an ardent non-smoker until age 38.

17. I have 5 tattoos, designed them all and had Jacqueline at Yonge Street Tattoos do them. I have a dozen more ideas to do as tattoos still. Budget, however, limits that.

18. I have seriously tried suicide once and contemplated it throughout my life until I began transitioning.

19. I was baptized a Catholic, grew up ignoring God all my life and developed my own belief based around Buddhism/Agnostism and atheism. Spiritually, God or whatever you want to call it is found on two-wheels when lost in the middle of nowhere.

20. I believe that every family should have at least one dog and one cat. The dog teaches us how to enjoy life completely and love wholly; the cat reminds us the importance of ignoring things that don’t matter.

21. I had one “straight” relationship with a guy for nearly 12 years. While it should have ended around years 5-7 we tried, foolishly perhaps, to keep it going. Neither of us was wrong nor right. We just weren’t really good for each other.

22. I am rather apolitical these days, although I have been impressed with Obama in general (no one will satisfy all the wants and needs of all the people all the time)

23. I am an internet addict. I can always find something to do online.

24. I am a transguy. That means my body was born “female” and my soul, male. I am in the process of matching the body to the soul. I am very open about this and have no regrets about this decision either. If that bothers you, then that will be something you get to wrestle with. Have fun. 🙂

25. I have no regrets in life. I do feel bad about mistakes I have done that have hurt others but otherwise I am happy with where life is and where it is going.

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I mean, honestly!

Posted on January 16, 2009 by Linus Posted in Daily life .
An Honest landmark

An Honest landmark

Ah.. Honest Ed’s. It’s a Toronto landmark, yanno? Most Torontonians at some point or another has bought something or giggle at the many things that Honest Eds sold. While the man himself passed away, his legacy lives on. He was very honest as to who he was and what he sold. And that is sometimes a hard thing to find these days. Apparently a friend of mine, Dolphyngyrl, thinks I need to be MORE honest than I am. She says that I cannot list 10 interesting things but honest things about myself and then find 7 other friends to do the same.

HA!

In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny: “You realize, dis means WAR!”

So, honestly, here are my 10:

1. I LOVE cartoons. If I could, I’d get every uncensored Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck cartoon out there. It would have to have my favourites the Roadrunner/Coyote “Sugar and Spies” cartoon and the Bugs “Barber of Venice”.

 1967-gt-500-shelby-mustang-2

1967 Ford GT 500 Shelby Mustang

2. I used to be an avid long distance bicycle soloist tourer (a mouthful!). In 2005, my speedometer clocked a total of over 9,200km (something over 5,700 miles or so), which took me through various parts of Ontario and lots of the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). I miss it something fierce. I still have a dream to bike across Canada in memory of my mom.

3. Although I’m rather gentle and believe in following both a buddhist and vegan path, I have an inner “biker” in me. I want a Harley or an OCC custom hog and want to ride it around the continent when retired.

4. I do not have a driver’s license. I have attempted to get it on a couple of occassions but after my last try I’ve held off. I actually drove my father’s ex’s car through the garage, out the back bringing down some of the cement blocks on the car. Not a fun experience. It’s a shame since I’d love to get and rebuild a Ford 1967 Mustang. I think it’d actually be pretty good at it and do like the idea of a car that isn’t driven by a computer but by the owner.

5. I want to be an author of fiction and non-fiction books. I attempted to do a mini-bio/memoire as part of the NaNoWriMo contest but only got about 35,000 words before November 2008 ended. I still have to revise it some and perhaps I could actually finish it. But I have doubts as to how interesting it’d be.

6. I’m afraid of spiders. Like, really afraid of spiders. And snakes. And other crawly things.

7. I love scary movies that include crawly things.

8. I was once a conservative and heavily involved in politics. I actually was President of the Eastern Ontario PC Youth (defunct) and was involved in a variety of campaigns in Ottawa. I don’t remember much other than great keggers on the Hill. I once got so drunk (drinking from 10am until, I think, 2am) on one Canada Day that I don’t remember what happened and alcohol was pouring out of my skin.

Apparently, however, I had or was a great time since someone — who I swear I had never met before — told me how much fun I was. (!!!!!)

9. My very first crush was Vicky Stubbing (Jill Whalen) on The Love Boat. My second was Kelly (Jackylin Smith) on Charlie’s Angels followed by a tie between Tootie (Kim Fields) and Natalie (Mindy Cohn) from The Facts of Life. I never had any boy crushes but wanted to be either Sean Connery’s version of James Bond or Jo from The Facts of Life.

Hrmm…

There’s a pattern there, I know it!

10. My first “love” kiss never happened until I was 37. Kissing K the first time in January 2007 is the first time my whole body shook and I felt an electricity kissing someone. She was the first where I understood what it meant to have Chemistry. And she’s the first I ever utter the M word to. Being a late bloomer has it’s advantages.

Whew!

Who knew, eh, that I had so much more to tell.

Ok. So now I will pick 7 people to play along with this.

My first is Arwen, my “big sister”. I learned the importance of an extended family and Arwen is definitely someone who fits that bill. She’s always been there, in the time we’ve gotten to know each other, for when I needed help and advice. Plus, she’s pretty awesome at doing Tarot readings. Thus far, they’ve been 100% accurate.

Veronique has become a new online friend that I met through twitter. I’ve been blessed by finding commonality and a kind soul to talk to.

Through twitter I met a few others including Shauna, who’s shown me what the world is like for someone who is intersexed. To fully understand this means coming to terms to gender in a different but straightforward way.

Over across the big pond and a few landmasses, I began to read what life is like elsewhere. Being in the US now, I do find that things get kinda US-centric and I wanted to learn about what it’s like to face a transition elsewhere. Emily has been one person that has remained open and offered great insight into that.

Again through twitter, I met another woman who showed me that yes, there is viberant life in Kansas (who knew?). Dana‘s lively insights into her world have been an inspiration for me.

I sometimes miss teaching (not the marking part, the edu-ma-kating part) at the college level. My students were always amazing and I did make friends with a few. Matt actually took a couple of my courses and has done me great pride by doing well in the IT world. He’s done me even more by respecting my transition. I consider myself lucky to call him friend.

And lastly but not least, Wryly (aka Rez-boi). Wryly was one of the first friends I ever made in the Toronto area and felt an immediate kinship with. She’s been a great friend to hang with and always had a moment, even in the most trying of times. Plus she’d listen to me whine non-stop about the same thing over and over and over and over.. and give me honest feedback (football helmet, eh? ROFL!)

4 Comments .
Tags: dreams, friends, fun, Life .
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