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Monthly Archives: December 2008

Is it too easy to transition?

Posted on December 10, 2008 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .

It was suggested to me that it’s too easy to transition and that not all of the options are shown to trans folk, particularly trans guys. And that there is a belief that there is all of a sudden a bunch of transguys, as if they were required to be butch lesbians before transition. The problem with this is that it assumes that all transguys are interested in women. And that their transformation is related to their relationships with their partners. While that is part of it, the reality is that transitioning comes entirely from within. It is about what a person feels is the correct external interpretation of themselves to the rest of the world.

The world at large determines and forces a gender on individuals based on cues learned from actions or perceived visual presentations. For the most part this week, if I didn’t open my mouth or show my ID I was perceved as entirely male. And it was a very comforting place to be and feel. But it did take me a while to reach this point. My decision to transition wasn’t overnight and no trans person I know decided in a flash that they were going to transition.

To go down this route means questioning whether you’re going to be ok with the possibility of losing your partner, your family, your friends, your job, your church, your community and even possibly your life. And if you know that the decision is the right one for you regardless of these factors, then it’s not that easy to transition and it becomes the most critical decision you can make. What has become easier is explaining it, for most environments, to the various medical professions as to what you want to do. In larger city environments (e.g., San Francisco, New York, etc.) because of larger trans environments already, doctors are well aware of the issues and often able to be truly professional about their job without judging the individual person’s path. Even, however, in these large environments there is still a desire to ensure that the path that the person is taking is, in fact, the right path so necessary visit(s) to social workers or other therapists are often required. If there is a potential that they may be on the wrong path, then additional pyschotherapy can be utilized to address this.

At one time, it was required that individuals live in the gender that they believed they would have been born into before pursuing medical transition but today that avenue isn’t pursued as much. There are, in my opinion, some valid reasons for this including challenges to passing (for some it is very difficult); increased anxiety if discovered and society’s rejection of cross-dressing; further pressure on the gender dysphoria, without truly addressing it. A medical option can address a lot of these but sometimes can open up other issues. My own experience thus far is that it’s set a lot of things at easy and has made it easier for me to address other parts of myself as a result.

So perhaps medically it easier to transition but emotionally and pyschologically, we still go through a lot. And I don’t forsee that changing in the near future.

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Kristen and Bobcat

Posted on December 7, 2008 by Linus Posted in photo blog .

Bobcat has definitely become an elder cat. She eats, she sleeps. That’s it. She does purr a lot when we hold her but otherwise, she’s pretty inactive. Given that she will turn 15 next year, she is getting up there (she’s 76 according to this human-to-cat-years chart).

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I miss Toronto and New York

Posted on December 6, 2008 by Linus Posted in Daily life .

This week has been great as I visited friends from both work and from my life. It was easy to pick up from where I left off. Although I spent most of my life not knowing what friendship was, I learned late in life what it is. And I have to say I’m blessed with some pretty amazing friends. It was great to be reminded of all the things that I liked about Toronto but also reminded me of what I’m missing in NYC. I so wish I didn’t have to worry about a border, work or other things. If I could just take K to Canada and not have to fuss over borders, passports and the like, I’d do it. But I can’t.

This picture is from the skating rink in front of City Hall in Toronto. Skating was something I used to do when I was younger and played goalie. It wasn’t unusual to just lace up the skates and go down the Rideau Canal in Ottawa. I hope oen day my kids can experience those kinds of memories.

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Tags: Canada, friends, Life, pictures, work .

New Poll: Are you hopeful for 2009?

Posted on December 2, 2008 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .

Thanks to everyone’s advice on the facial hair. It seems the clean shaven was the primary choice with goatee coming in a close second. I have to admit that I’m very happy about what the future will bring me. I didn’t finish my “novel” for National Novel Writing Month but the amount of writing I got done was great and I’m now reviewing it to see how I can improve the novel. That process taught me that even the slightest bit of hope, the slightest bit of success, can always lead into some kind of success and hope.

I like to believe that the future holds great promise for me and 2009 looks even better. Even though economically on a national and global scale things look bleak, I do believe that if we just believe in each other and where the future will go, things can get better. I tend to be a bit naive in that I believe that everyone can succeed if they only believe in themselves and the will of Fate, God or whatever leads us to what path we find. So what do you think 2009 will bring you?

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Happiness is.. coming out at work.

Posted on December 2, 2008 by Linus Posted in Uncategorized .

So this wek I’m in Toronto. I got in early today and decided to visit some of my old colleagues from work. It was great to visit with all my former colleagues. What was even better was that many either mistook me for a guy and didn’t recognize me or they recognized me as myself and referred to me as a guy. And this after I had shaved my “goatee” off. I know the majority of people voted that I should have it shaved off and I’m still deciding one way or another in regards to that but it was gratifying to be recognize as a guy even without facial hair.

More importantly, I wasn’t rejected as the person I am or that I am becoming. And this buoyed my own confidence. Too often we hear all the negative results of coming out but I’m happy to say that thus far I haven’t been totally rejected for who I am. This shows, to me at least, a lot of human respect and a greater understanding. One thing I will say is this: I work with some freakin’ amazing people. Anyways, it’s late and I’m off to bed. More tomorrow with perhaps pictures from the cold north.

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