Going beyond transition

Category Archives: hate crimes

March Poll: an independent T or part of the “family” of LGBTQ?

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, Polls, trans activism, transgender .

February’s poll on health care gave rather predictable results with all those that responding to the question about coverage for Trans Health inclusiveness into Universal Health Care being 100% and only 2 out of 15 people saying that there should be no Universal Health Care in the US. The results are, I strongly suspect, the result of who the readers are. Having grown up in a nation where health care is a universal privilege, it’s weird to be in a nation where it’s not. But realistically impletementing it here will be difficult. One of the first things that will help is strong, secure and trustworthy universal health record keeping. I’m not sure how realistic that will be given the nature of some here. It will be interesting to see what happens, if anything, in regards to this. It’s a monsterous feat, to say the least, to implement in a population of the size of the present US population.

One of the things that I’ve seen a lot of lately are questions about LGBTQ friendly health care and that got me thinking about a topic that is often discussed both within the overall LGBTQ community and the trans community specifically: should the T remain part of the LGBTQ? I’ve talked about this before but there are times when I really question whether it’s worth it and whether we really belong. The T part of LGBTQ is about gender while the other parts of the “family” are about sexual orientation. Then again, you wouldn’t have this whole thing on sexual orientation without the perception of what gender is and isn’t. I was reading Miss Monica Roberts blog TransGriot and noticed this blog entry. I’m ashamed of what this gentleman did, said and conveyed. He certainly doesn’t express my view as a white man, gay or otherwise.

At the same time, however, he’s not the first. I’ve seen others from the lesbian camp sprout the same (or worse!). I’ve been told I’ve betrayed who I am (uh..  no.); that I’m a fraud; that because of my choice I’m no longer welcomed (I’m perceived as a white “straight” male — not quite) etc. It’s stuff like this that makes me question whether we really should be part of the overall group. HRC has no issue tossing us under their trampling feet as they rush for ENDA, whether it will pass or not. And then, on the other hand, I have so many close and dear friends (and chosen family) that are LGBTQ. I feel a connection with the overall.

That is me, however. I am curious as to what others feel or think. When you answer this poll, if you want, please comment. Let me know the whys and why-fores, as it were. I only ask that you be respectful.

Quick morning rant: trans != predator

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ .

Ok. Quick rant for the morning. Seriously. Whatever happened to reporting the news and not injecting one’s opinion about things?? It’s akin to telling people how to think rather than letting people figure this stuff out on their own (basically, the news media seems to believe we’re all morons). I recently came across this tidbit about Gainesville washroom issue. At issue is whether trans individuals should be allowed to use the washroom of their true gender and not be forced to use the one of their “birth” gender. The Independent Florida Alligator (perhaps a local paper?) said this about the issue.

Gainesville voters will soon decide whether to amend the city’s discrimination policy amid controversy.

The city election will be held on March 24, and the ballot will include a proposal, Amendment 1, to remove local anti–discrimination protections. Instead state–level protections would apply.

For Amendment 1 supporters, the vote will decide if male sexual predators will continue to have legally protected access to public areas designated as women only, like bathrooms.

For those who oppose the amendment, the future of civil rights in Gainesville is at stake, in particular the rights of transgender, lesbian, gay and bisexual people.

Now, I’ve bolded the line in question. It’s comments like this that people use to associate transwomen with “predator”, “pedophile”, etc. A predator doesn’t need the guise of a different gender to do what they want. In fact, they rarely do so. I suspect this may be the real reason we see it happen more often. (supposition on my part — bad, Linus, bad). What will happen, if this is passed, is that many will lose their protections under the law in Gainesville. Apparently, for “Citizens for Good Public Policy”, the organization behind this, that’s acceptable “collateral damage” (read: LGBQ will also lose protections as a result of this).

I wonder how this Amendment would fare if a cis-gender woman who has very strong masculine features or an intersex person is caught under this (not for anything illegal but the presumption of illegalities)? Collateral damages, eh? New York has a law that allows a person to go into the washroom of their chosen gender without issue. There hasn’t been a rash of attacks against women or anything like that.

This is just FUDing (propogating fear, uncertainty and doubt) at its worst.

An Open Letter to Dr. Phil over the Show “Little Boy Lost”

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, trans activism, transition .

Dr. Phil,

I have to admit that I rarely, if ever, watch your show. Most shows like yours, and Jerry Springer, often perpetuate the most base and uneducated view of society. It is unfortunate that given how many people you reach that you do so with an intent to harm. Your recent show on the transgendered parent and her daughter who transitioned from male-to-female is an unfortunate but shining example of this. The show, entitled Little Boy Lost, suggests that parents should “guide” their kids to society’s assigned gender and that it’s is curable, much like being gay is (apparently). It also, rather subtly, suggests that being transgendered is some kind of horrible, freak show. The parent in this show was treated with disrespect and wasn’t given proper advice on how to move forward. Much like the child figuring out that they need to let go of the past, so does the parent. I see no references to support structures or groups that could help this woman grieve for the past and celebrate the present. I thought you were about helping people find a path that can truly help them, by being honest with themselves and moving forward. For this family, it would mean getting support for the family to understand what transgender/transsexualism is, that there is nothing wrong with it and how to move forward with it.

But no, you would prefer to have present to the world these thoughts (emphasis mine):

“How did you make the decision to support him transitioning from male to female versus saying, ‘No, this is wrong, it’s an aberration, it’s a disorder, and he needs therapy’?” Dr. Phil asks.

“Because I knew that that wasn’t the right answer,” she says. “I knew all along something was different about him. He didn’t give me a choice. He didn’t really say, ‘Can I do this?’ He just said, ‘This is what I have to do to live.’”

Dr. Phil points out that Toni has two other sons who are not gender confused, which is at odds with Glenn and Dr. Nicolosi’s theory that gender confusion could be caused by an over-involved mother.

I would point out, Dr. Phil, that her new daughter is not “gender confused” either. She is very aware of who she is and what she needs to do to be seen as that by society’s blindness. It strikes me that society seems rather confused as to who she is and refuses to understand what she is going through. Additionally, the thought that the mother was over-involved is a tried and true excuse. It was previously used to describe effeminate heterosexual men as well as homosexuals. This theory has been discounted as a reason for homosexuality and much of the research going on today addresses a variety of “causes”. But that said, neither transgenderism nor homosexuality are “diseases”; they are, however, the evolution of individuals into something more than what the “average” cis-gendered person is.

“I just want to see your results,” Toni says to Dr. Nicolosi, defensively. “Where are your 16-year-olds now?”

“This is not just your position with transgendered children, you also believe the same thing in terms of gay and lesbian as well,” Dr. Phil says to Dr. Nicolosi, noting that he has written a book titled A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality. “You deal with that in your practice, correct?”

Kudos to the mother, Toni, for asking for “results”. Better yet, rather than going and promoting these two “quacks”, why not show the success stories of people who have transitioned and live their lives fully and successfully. Show fathers and mothers, like Toni, that it doesn’t have to be all sad and a matter of grieving but rather a life that can be enjoyed and lived fully. Preventing it, as these two suggest, opens up a greater chance of suicide (particularly those that are pre-op, pre-hormone and denied the right to be their true self) as well as a greater chance of a life lead in misery, confusion and shame.

Contrary to what some suggest, there is no shame in being yourself. We’re told this every day, even from the likes of Sesame Street. We’re told that it’s ok to accept others who are different from each other and then the likes of you promotes the fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) about trans individuals rather than celebrating the people they become. Do we always have to be bombarded by a negative view of life? Can we not be bombarded with success, happiness and fulfillment via paths not like what the average person experience?

Is it really that difficult?

Regards,

Linus, who’s happy with life now.

LGBTQ news: The list is supposed to be getting smaller, not bigger..

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, transgender .

It’s interesting to see how news media deals with stuff like this. In both cases they identify the victim, Teish Cannon, as being “openly gay” and being a man. But only one identifies that she was living as a woman. I’m not sure what her gender identity was but a part of me feels that she is being disrespected by the media for who she was.

Source: Syracuse.com

Dwight R. DeLee shot and killed Moses “Teish” Cannon with a .22-caliber rifle Friday night because he didn’t like that Cannon was openly gay, Syracuse police said.

Cannon, 22, and his brother, Mark Cannon, 18, both of 404 Arthur St., were shot as they sat in a car parked in front of 411 Seymour St., where they had been invited to a party. The bullet grazed the left arm of Mark Cannon, who was in the driver’s seat, and hit Moses Cannon in the chest, police said.

And the second story which identifies, at the least, that she lived as a woman.

Source: Newsradio 570 WSYR Syracuse

The Syracuse man charged with second degree murder faces a judge this morning.

Family and friends of Moses Cannon are still shocked over his sudden death.

“I’m bitter, I’m hurt,” said Roxanne Green, Moses’ mother.

Cannon, who lived as a woman, was shot and killed Friday night. Police say the suspect, 20 year-old Dwight DeLee, didn’t like his sexual preference.

TransWoman murdered but no one cares

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, transgender .

Rah. Rah. Rah.

Fight Prop 8.

Rah. rah.

Yanno. I just can’t get into it. I’ve been trying to figure out why and what is it about it that turns me off. Maybe it’s my own dislike of marriage as solely a financial contract or that it’s viewed as only between two people. What if there was someone that K and I both loved and wanted to marry? It isn’t going to be allowed. In fact, I don’t know of anywhere where multi-partnered marriage is allowed. That’s not the point. And, in fact, that’s not the issue. It’s great that there are so many voices clamoring over this injustice of not being allowed to say vows. It really is.

But.. I get this feeling that only mainstream issue that affect the LGB are examined and that anyone else is ignored. There’s so much hype done about same-sex marriage but everyone ignores the fact that a transwoman, who was seeking justice, got murdered. Why wasn’t there an outcry by the community over her? Is it because she’s not cisgendered and a POC that she doesn’t deserve attention? All those couples who wanted to get married are still there. They get to walk on, march on and chant. There is a swell of idealism.

Or maybe it’s because she was “troubled”? Because she didn’t fit the ideal of a “person” that she doesn’t matter? She wasn’t white? She doesn’t get to chant, walk or march on. She gets added to the wall of Transgender Day of Remembrance.  And then forgotten for a year. She doesn’t matter. She was just a trans POC. She was a nobody as far as the LGB are concerned.

Oh, wait, right. I’ve forgotten. It’s all about the privilege white LGB. They are the only ones who matter apparently because they have been so “wronged” in the past. Their lives face so much hardship and uncertainty because they have their homes with their jobs and they have the right to go forth to be heard. The LGB have protections in law to ensure they are not discriminated against. They can easily fight and get support for what they fight. Duanna had no one but herself. And she stood up and said no more. She took a chance. And it cost her the very life she stood up for.

She matters.

Make her matter as much as the privilege of marriage matters.

I cannot speak for trans POC. I cannot imagine the fight that has to be done to right the injustices of the past. I was born with privilege and will be afforded even more privilege when my medical transition is done. I will be granted the ultimate of privileges, that of a perceived white man. For all my wants to be viewed as me, it is one thing I do not want. But I know I will get it. And it seems so unfair when I hear from trans POC around me and what they face. But I will say that she deserves far more respect than what the LGBT community is giving her. Right now, she’s being ignored in favour of privilege of a few. And to me, that’s just wrong.

I know that many won’t care and no matter how much I rant (although I’m having difficulty today articulating it well) and rage it won’t make a difference. But perhaps we need to focus on the lives being lost by those trying to be themselves. Everyone matters, not just the privileged white.

The Tennesee Transgender Political Association is looking for donations to help cover her funeral costs. Even if it’s only $5 please make a donation. And speak out. Do not let her murder go unnoticed in this world. Please.

Rah.

Note: Kudos to Jack for putting together a more eloquant piece than me on this.

Life: An update and such

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, transgender .

No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. When I teach in the city, I find I can often be limited as to how energetic I am in the evenings to write. So I tend not to and usually just relax a bit with K. I’ve also been working on my “novel/bio” for National Novel Writing Month and am just shy of 20,000 words. I’m going to try to catch up (I should be around 24,000 today if I go by daily averages) this weekend, perhaps even get ahead. I’ve been trying to avoid watching the news as it’s all been rather depressing but have kept half an eye on the markets. I do have shares in my company and it hasn’t done well.

This week I found out that my 5 year long gig as being a paid moderator at an online security forum is no longer a paid gig. This sucked but it was bound to happen. At this point, as long as I can keep my instructor gig, I think I’ll be good. The security forum has said they’ll still pay for articles (even up to 2-3 a month) if I do how-to kind of articles. So it’s not entirely bad and may present itself with long term potential. But it still sucked. The week seemed overly busy and I’m not sure why. The only thing I can attribute is that I’ve just finished week 3 of 4 weeks of teaching. At least next week I’ll be home teaching online and more likely to write here and on the Cigar Newbie site.

Anyways, I have some thoughts I wanted to do about Prop 8 and all the recent hype over it but I’m feeling a bit tired. I’ll do something up tomorrow.

Transition: Remembering “Them”

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, Life, transgender, transition .

It never matter before.

Why would it have mattered?

It had only affected “them”.

I wasn’t a “them”.

I didn’t know any of “them”.

I wasn’t like “them”

Today, however, I’m a “them”.  I go outside and wonder which person will add me to the wall of Remembrance. I never had to fear before that someone would have issue with me as the person I am but now I wonder and worry. Granted, still not as much as others have to. I still have some privilege and am probably viewed as a “nice them”, not like “THOSE thems”. As I get ready to announce to colleagues and the rest of the world my citizenship into “them”, I wonder how much will change. How much of who I am will be viewed as different and part of “them” with the physical obvious changes? Will it really matter that I am part of “them”? When will “them” no longer be a “them” and just be an “us”?

I figure once we’re no longer a “them” then we’ll matter when we’re killed for being “us” and that we’ll matter as people again. And that the shock wasn’t the lives that they were becoming but that the life stopped in such a brutal manner. It is time we matter. When I look at my brothers and sisters I meet up with each Wednesday night and I see these amazing people with wonderful, fulfilling lives.

What I find inconceivable the most is why trans-identified individuals are killed at all for being themselves. Society often says that we shouldn’t follow the herd and we should be our own selves. But it seems to punish trans individuals for doing just that. I suppose it’s more of “being individual as long as it’s the same as the rest of us” kind of thing. Society still wants hard settings for each portion of the binary and nothing in between. It is entirely about how one looks rather than the actions that make a man or a woman. It is about all the physical things being where we expect them and how we expect them rather than the intangibles that make a person “a person”.

But that’s fine. I’d rather be one of “them” than one of “us”. And if I do end up on a Wall of Remembrance, at least I finally got to live my life as I wanted to live it and not as someone wanted me to live it.

I like being a part of “them”.

Always.

Transition: the fear of hatred and discrimination

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, transgender .

One of the things I’ve been thinking a lot of lately is when to flip that proverbial switch. I still, unfortunately, still don’t pass as I’d like. Granted, it’ll still take time before I full do but it’s still frustrating. Moreso, is the fear that is starting to build for me about others. It’s not a question of caring about what they think but rather what their actions will do in regards to my own life (and the safety of myself and those around me) as well as my career and other things. It’s very scary to read stories like the teacher out in California and the responses to that story (see the comments to the below of the article here). I see comments like this:

What is wrong with people!!?!?! Thats so sick, gah, makes me sick to my stomach! Those people should never teach! Im not going to get into this with you all, but the teacher should be stopped from teaching..this isnt south park (Mr.hat), these are real kids. And my kid would be transfered out of that class SO freaking quick and i would do my best to get them fired. Im surprised this took place in cali though… Kudos to the parents who are thinking for their kids saftey! Dont people see how this could harm children???

AND

This teacher was a freak of nature and should be removed. Have you ever seen a wolf chew his nu%s off because “he” wanted to be a “she?” Even dumb animals won’t cross that line.

Why shouldn’t he teach? His ability hasn’t changed, just his gender. And given that this is an opportunity to learn, one would think it’s worthwhile to take this opportunity. The whole idea of being a freak of nature just highlights what some parts of society think of us (referring to transgender/transsexual/gendervariant individuals). Ya, I probably shouldn’t read these comments but the reality is I will face those that are very set in their views. For the most part, I know I will be ok but there is that nagging fear of “what if”.

Once I reach a point where no one knows, it won’t matter but I do worry about that point of transition when people do notice, where I haven’t fully transition or they knew me before. HIPPA won’t protect me from everything (laws are great but society takes far longer to update than laws on books). It is frustrating, however, that someone would think I would harm a child or that I’m a freak because I change my gender. The mass media and various religious leaders are who I get to thank for that, unfortunately. Simple kindness and respect for others seems beneath people at times and that’s a frustrating thing. I do not understand why it has to be their issue or why it should bother them at all. As long as I pull my own weight in society, do my job, respect and love my partner, obey the laws and “do unto others as I would have them do unto me”, why should I be seen as the villian?

A lot of this is being exacerbated by the US elections and certainly opinions are running high. People don’t want change, they don’t want to face it. They seem cemented in old traditional standards and refuse the possibility that perhaps people do change their gender; that perhaps it may even be the will of God. And, at the very least, it’s the will of God that we respect each other, but yet seem unable to do so. We’re more content at having something to hate, demonize and fear. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to live without those; what it’s like to leave with respect, admiration and understanding of a neighbour — without regard for the physical attributes.

And, to be honest, I have to say that the biggest political candidates are the Republicans. The idea of using FUD to continue keeping people in line with their beliefs and never questioning them is a tactic that perhaps is finally being seen what it is: fear-mongering. It’s working to a degree. I do fear for my life, a first for me. It’s very possible that one day I may be beaten up or worse for choosing this path. I may finally face full discrimination and hatred for being myself rather than what others want me to be (individuality be damned, eh?). But I’m not going to let that stop me. I will continue this. I spent a lifetime miserable and am finally happy (although could be happier if I won the lottery).

Anyways, I bring this all up because I’m looking at options to do top surgery and I suspect that will make passing and the transitioning go easier. But this will still be a challenge. I want to be open but society may push me to be stealth. 🙁

Remembering Ruby

Posted on by Posted in hate crimes, LGBTQ, transgender .

People really don’t get it, do they? I read about Ruby’s body found in the Sacramento River yesterday and I was shocked by the following quote (it seems to be newsfeed article):

The man has been identified as Fernando Molina, 22. Investigators have learned Molina was in the process of transitioning from a man to a woman. He was known as “Ruby” to family and friends and frequented the Watt Avenue and Auburn Boulevard corridors as well as downtown Sacramento.

**SHE**, you dumb fucks! It was a woman. And using a term like “frequents” make it sound dirty. She may have been a sex worker but that doesn’t make her any less of a person. Treat her with respect as the human being she was. It’s horrible that she ended up in the river. And I won’t be surprised if people forget as the rest of society will treat her as less than a person because she was in the process of transitioning. As time goes on, I’m finding I’m getting more and more angry when I read stuff like this. I’m starting to see more and more why it’s so critical that society sees us in the terms and on the terms we want to be seen.

And I can see why it’s important for many to be stealth. But I wonder if so many weren’t stealth and society were forced to face the fact that there are many of us around, if things would be different. Would Ruby still be here rather than treated as less-than something? Hopefully the police will find the person who did this and citizens will be outraged. I doubt it but one can hope.

Ruby Molina, you won’t be forgotten. And you will be remember for the beautiful woman you are.

I think we need to recognize the beautiful women and men before these tragedies happen, not after.