If you haven’t heard, the economy — especially in the US — sucks. With an overall unemployment rate in the U.S. is 9.6% right now (as of today) and for those who are new graduates, it’s apparently 8.8%. I find it hard to believe and it might be an overall average but doesn’t indicate what it is for various disciplines. I know for K, it’s been a battle. Since she’s been home she’s applied for every job — no matter where in L.A. — that she can find (probably in the order of over 200 jobs in 3 months) and only today got a call back for an interview.

I’m hopeful that this might turn into full employment for her but who knows? At the least, it’s great that she has the interview. It’s been heartbreaking to listen to her as she tries to find work but cannot. As a recent grad, there are no unemployment benefits for her if she cannot find work. The GOP-types (aka deficit hawks) may think that not infusing the economy with funds means a better deficit, I believe it will do the opposite. It reduces the tax base while increasing demand on services. The goal should be to reduce the demand on services and increase the tax base. If more people are working, then more funds come in and the overall tax rate can remain consistent.

I’m lucky enough to be employed and to have a decent salary. It’s enough that I can support us both but it would be tight.

But it would be sweet if she got it.. So if you pray or have good thoughts, offer them towards her interview.

Wow. I’m kinda blown away. I talked with Service Ontario, the customer service arm of the Province of Ontario’s Government Agencies. In order to get my name changed, apparently, I need to have the name change verified, signed and embossed stamped by a Commissioner. And it MUST say Commissioner. Really!? Man. Talk about asinine. This highlights society’s dependency on labels rather than what the person is about. I recognize that you can’t just have anyone sign but having such a narrow definition of who an authority is just takes the cake.

This will mean another visit to Canada next year and that actually won’t be fun since it’ll likely be before or during our move to Los Angeles. Maybe I can visit my cousin out West and turn it into a mini-vacation or something. That or perhaps Montreal to visit my aunt and uncle there. This will mean a longer time before email is changed (they won’t change it until my SSN is changed and that can’t change until the work visa is and that can’t change.. ).

I was pissed enough to send a note to the Premier and Service Ontario. I doubt that anything will come out of it but at least I voiced my concern and perhaps started the seed to get this changed. I contacted my lawyer with TDLEF who helped me and he was shocked. The comment that a Commissioner is higher than a Court Judge highlights how silly this situation is. See my letter below.

I did a bit of search and found an entity known as a Commissioner of Deeds. It sounds kinda like a Notary of sorts. Hopefully, I can get this done either early next week or the week after. And then re-submit. Fingers crossed yet again.

Dear Premier,

I’m rather miffed about my home province and the legal rigeramole that I have to go through to get a name change. It’s not to say that it should be easy but it’s frustrating that I went through a legal process that is recognized in NY and yet, is not recognized by Registry Ontario because the City Clerk
s Title was City Clerk and not Commissioner.

Why we are dependent on it being specifically “Commissioner” and we don’t recognize a legal court system’s process is beyond me and creates unnecessary challenges. I tend to fall into a category that is unusual as I have no driver’s license (Ontario had great public transit when I was growing up so never made sense) and no other ID other than my passport.

In order to get my passport changed, I need to get both my Birth Certificate and SIN card change. If I lived in Ontario, this wouldn’t be that challenging but since I live in NYC (because of work and life), I’m left at the mercy of both Canada and US Postal services and no mechanism to expedite things to make my life a bit easier. As a transgendered individual this puts undo stress and challenges on me as I continue through life.

I implore you to consider a slight change to include a civil judge or city clerk (with embossed stamp) as other acceptable mechanisms for name changes.

Regards,

As a Canadian, I find the US political system to be a challenge at time and others, well, down right giggly. One of my bigger problems is keeping track of the players. And since I’m a geeky type of person having it in an easy format, like say an iPhone/iTouch app, would be ideal. I’ve gotten to know some thanks to Rachel Maddow’s show and the segment TMI. But it would be nice to have a list of some sort that can tell me who the hypocrites are, the gay-bashers, etc.

And then I came across this. I couldn’t help but laugh. Someone has done it. I actually wouldn’t mind having an iPhone/iTouch app like this. It’d be easy to remember who I was having issue with given there are so many republicans that just seem to be a few cards short of the full deck at times. The actual creator has a webpage that details information about each of the listed reps, as well, for those of us who are not so US politico savvy.

I recently finished reading Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America’s Class War. Fun and interesting book. But also very insightful about the average person in the not-so-urban areas of the US (well, West Virginia at least). US politics fascinates me. I guess it stems from when I used to be in politics. Way back when, at a time when university actually cost less than a car, I joined (now, no snickering or shaking of heads; I was young and impressionable) the Progressive Conservatives. It was fun and we did lots of neat things (mostly seemed to involve keggers on Parliament Hill — did you know there is no federal drinking age in Canada and the Parliament Hill is considered “federal property”?) but we were respectful. We even invited liberals and NDPers to them (the running joke — which I believe still holds true today — is that if you want to get drunk, join the Conservatives; if you want to get laid, join the Liberals and if you want to talk policy, join the NDP). But debate was respectable, even in the most heated of discussions.

I suppose it’s a Canadian thing where the House of Commons becomes a huge debate fest, with exception of the reading of the speech by the Governor General, the Queen’s representative in the House. This is the one time that it’s silent and you rarely hear anything beyond silent murmur and gentle snoring. I suppose that’s why I was kind of shock to see the whole Joe Wilson thing. I don’t think anyone suggests that he cannot speak his mind but rather, like many things in life, there are times and places for that. Because of Mr. Wilson, I’ve been learning more and more about American politics and all the things that make it up. It’s a rather fascinating process, very different from the calmer Canadian side of things (we really haven’t had exciting politics since Trudeau, known for the flare, and Sir John A, known for drinking vodka in the House). What in particular that did get my interest was the wide range of political commentary that goes on. In Canada there are the CBC (aka the Mother Corp), CTV (US Wannabe) and Global TV (insert witticism here). What I do find, however, is that their news tends to be either center with a tad left or center with a tad right leaning. You don’t see the leaning-so-far-to-the-right/left-the-country-dips-into-Atlantic/Pacific-ocean ideals like here in the US.

I’ve watched CNN, Fox News and MSNBC (I have to admit: Maddows makes me chuckle at times). What I find interesting is a few things: the “liberal” MSM tends to be more smiley and positive about life in general, even during the Bush years. They were far more respectful. The more “conservative” MSM tends to be angry and fearful all the time. Add to that some of the interesting results of some of the stories they report on. A recent poll suggests that about 1 in 3 New Jersey citizens think that Obama is the Anti-Christ. That’s half of those that believe in the Devil. I won’t get into the whole “he-wasn’t-born-here” stuff. I mean, seriously. You’d think that when someone applies to run for office that the Federal Election Commission checks this stuff, no? I keep thinking that a lot of this is how the liberal MSM (Main Stream Media) portrays the conservative MSM but after digging, I’m discovering it’s not. What is challenging for me is that I do believe in respecting each others views, no matter how much I vehemently disagree. But some of the beliefs that go on about the President (e.g., he’s a Hitler wannabe with storm troopers ready) and his policies are rather far-fetched (e.g., he’s going to start internment camps) but at the same time, it does make me wonder: at what point do we finally pull away from what we’re told and start to experience our own lives as we define them? I mean, do we only go by what the MSM says is left or right? Or do we learn to make our own insightful opinions? (yes, I do remember something from University that doesn’t involve a keg)

I ask this because of something that I experience as a trans person. I often hear about the many who get assaulted, hurt, killed, demeaned, etc. It’s rather frightening. But I’ll be honest in that I think it tends to cloud both mine and other’s points of view of trans individuals. A non-trans person gets told that we’re different and thus they should fear us. While the trans person is told that we’re different and we should be afraid of how everyone else will react to our path in life. I’ve been told that Christians, particularly the born-again types, are to be feared and mocked. I’m not sure if that is healthy or even necessary for all. I’ve met many Christians who are very nice and very respectful, even if they do not understand or agree with my choices. Right now, in my life, Christianity isn’t a path for me (I won’t say never since anything is possible) and while it fascinates me from a historical and sociological point of view, it does nothing for my soul.  Ever since I began my medical transition, I was in fear of what students, colleagues and strangers think of me. And so far, the results have been rather positive or neutral (no negatives but nothing overtly positive either).

Could it be white male privilege? To a degree, especially in the US, yes. And if I ever saw personally anything that would suggest it, then I’d say it’s more likely that but to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it yet. I’m not going to naively say that it never happens. I know it does. But I wonder how many trans individuals live their lives so stealthily without incident and lead rather boring meager lives? And how much of that is partially lived with the fear that if someone found out, then they’d think less of me? I’m rather public about who I am. This blog is very open and yet, being trans hasn’t hurt me nor has the discovery of my trans state seemed to change anything. If anything, I’ve noticed more respect for being so forthcoming and outspoken. Perhaps, if anything, it’s partially a confidence thing (which is more acceptable socially for a white person than a person of color — that is, a form of privilege). Maybe it’s the side effect of the internet and social media being used to create large communities and trying to fill the silence with something, anything, so people will come back. We listen to the more outrageous things than the day-to-day things probably because our lives seem so… well… day-to-day.

So, how much do we find it acceptable to continue trumpeting the evils of the “other” (insert whatever “other” is normally across from you)? Will there ever be a time when we stop demeaning the “others” and get back to civilized debate where we speak and listen in turn? And will there ever be a time where we talk about things based on what we experienced rather than what we are told we should have experienced? Or are we all just going to go along with it because we want to belong somewhere, anywhere, with anyone so we don’t feel so alone?

To end this post I thought I’d share a chuckle. One of the things I used to love was reading the editorial cartoon of the day. I’ve recently become a fan of Daryl Cagle’s website and couldn’t help but belly laugh at this:

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Daryl Cagle – Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com – Email this Cartoon

It appears that many of you have a bucket list of some sort (67%). Pretty good. In a lot of ways, having goals in life help us to live long lives because we have something to live for. I suspect that’s partially why those with lots of friends, married/partnered and a positive outlook in life tend to have longer lives. Good habits aren’t the only methods of ensuring long life. In fact, they aren’t indicators of long life. You look at someone like George Burns, who smoked 15-20 cigars a day, and compare him to someone like Ron H. Daws died at age 55 (he was competitor in 1968 Olympic marathoning, avid runner, cross country skier, etc.). Reducing the stress in life (e.g., through laughter, friendship, etc.) is the mechanism, to me, that helps one live longer and enjoy things. How we view life and realize that not only living in moment is critical as is looking towards living in the future.

I also believe in preventative health care matters. In February I asked if universal health care was needed in the US. Now that things are closing closer to some kind of finalized deal, I wonder (especially if we include the recent costs that the US went through and have still to go through) if it’s still viable. I have some doubts as to whether this could be similar to what is seen in Canada, as an example. Health care here is highly capitalized and about the the ultimate cost/bill rather than the health of the patient. And a lot of the “discussion” isn’t a discussion after all: it’s a yelling match between two parties and by both. Neither is really listening and the clock continues to tick on those not covered. So, here’s the question (and this month’s poll): is the proposed health care bill the solution?

To help clarify what makes up some of this issue, I’ve included some links to the Washington Post that breaks down some of the costs and numbers behind everything.

How the Bills Stack Up

In Search of Health Care Reform

What Does Health Care Mean for You?

A Sphere of Influence

I look out the window to the darkest of skies. The thunderstorm is coming soon. But it’s not the rain, lightening or thunder that worry. Even the potential hint of a tornado isn’t of concern. It’s what’s in front of the storm. The bleakness shone through the blackened windows. The gray lifeless walls held memories of a life once lived. It was one of many little hovels grouped together in an attempt to create a complex of exist. Life tried to poke its way through as kids ran down the carless street, unaware of the vast poverty and dismay of the area. Dreams that might have once lived have faded and been burned away like the charred wall paper that juts out of one exposed wall. The only two kids on the street. For them, it is their playground: an old rusted can becomes a ball, a rebar becomes a bat and an old klunker home base.

Rounding first (a broken Coke bottle), I see him race for second base while his opponent chases after the can. I return back to my USA Today. I see an ad extol about the “horrors” of socialism, the threat of “socialized” health care and how a private health care system is the only valid one for the US. The US’s poverty rate is around 12% (higher than the 10% claimed by the ad), Canada around 6% and Cuba is an unknown although I’d peg it around 90%. What’s interesting is that the HDI (Human Development Index — the index that indicates things like life expectancy, literacy, education and standards of living) lists Cuba at 48 on the HIGH category (Canada is 3 while the US is 15).

Right now the US is debating (yet again) what to do about health care. on one side, people believe that pay-per keeps costs down and wiser use of health care. On the other is universal health care where it’s available for all, regardless of whether someone is employed or not. Anyone gets health care coverage and it should limit the possibility of going into debt over health care. But there is one thing that isn’t being considered and is really needed. The reality is that health care is about people. One of the challenges in the US is that it overemphasizes monetary profit, whether for hospitals, staff, benefits programs, etc. It’s not to say that profit isn’t a consideration in places like Canada (Canadian doctors can make the same or slightly below what is made in the US) but there are less extras to address (like malpractice insurance, etc.). I don’t know if the US will ever be able to have a health care that will be effect at helping it’s populace, particularly those in most need, be able to get help — both reactive and proactive/preventative.

The Acela train I’m on continues its fast race to New York. The bleak looking ghetto is on the outskirts of Philadelphia. It reminded me of Mexico City except there it was colourful. Here, its grey, burned and discarded from the rest of society. It is often how the wealthier parts of the country view those without: they are drab, lifeless “things” to discard. Giving those without hope a chance for it can help reduce poverty and give dreams to those who need it.

So I did an iReport here and am shocked as to how many people have looked (last count was in the 1,700s!). And from reading some of the responses to the other iReports, many have been positive (although, like any there are those that aren’t so positive about trans individuals). Whee! I think I might do a full response to one report later today or tomorrow. Now, to do some work stuff.

I had a lunch with a friend over the weekend who explained to me a bit more about the US Constitution and how it’s supposed to protect minority groups from being oppressed by the larger majority. It’s interesting to note that this is actually what is going on in the US and no one has taken it to the federal court to challenge the bans on that exact basis:

Transparency: A History of Gay Marriage Bans

So now I have even more of a reason to celebrate on the 31st. Facebook has always been one of those places that grassroots events take off (Twitter, I think, will also be the other at this point). But it was on Facebook that I ran across the group to promote International Transgender Day of Visibility. I think it’s a great idea. We have been remembering those who have passed before us but now it’s time to stand up as we are, alive and whole, today. One of the challenges is that many trans individuals go stealth once they full pass in the gender they were meant to be. And many choose not to be identified as trans. This is fine but for many being trans is a very visible thing. We transition with the whole world watching us, waiting to see what new thing has physical, emotional or otherwise has changed.

And while transitioning is, for the most part, a selfish thing it is also a societal thing. Our belief that gender is what we’re born with physically isn’t accurate. Like many things in life there are factors that make up all of this: brain chemistry, societal impact, parental influence or lack thereof, friend relationships, etc. There is nothing to blame either; it is what it is (as the saying goes). Perhaps this will lead to a full separation from the LGB. LGB (B is only supported if it’s women; men, not so much) is widely becoming more and more accepted. Case in point: New Hampshire has recently approved of a bill to go to Senate for same-sex unions but at the same time, denied equality rights for transgender individuals (the “Washroom Bill”).

I see more and more stories about transgender/transsexual politics and it is heartening, even if they are not positive. At the least, people are being made aware more and more as to who we are. We’re not freaks or weirdos or <insert epithet here>; we’re average citizens who want the right to exist as we are. In world where so many pressure everyone to be the same (e.g., you must be <insert religion>; you must <insert thought>; you must support <insert political regime>), we stand out at challenging a lot of that. We aren’t the “musts”; we are “what we should be”.

We should be supportive of each other.

We should be respectful of each other’s choices/needs/wants.

We should recognize the vast wonderful differences that each of us has.

We should appreciate the various paths and experiences that make us all so unique.

And if you’ve ever wondered what a trans person looks like.. here it is:

Me (9 months on T)

This remains one of my biggest challenges to overcome. Ya, it’s a nagging fear and I just need to push forward but I think I’m getting there. I just wish that society didn’t put so much into it. I mean, really. When you think about it. At home, do you have male and female washrooms? In public we’re all there to do two things: use the washroom and then wash our hands afterwards. Do we have to make a big deal out of it? For Gainesville, FL., it was a big deal. Enough to have a vote over it. The result of the vote was to keep the law, which protects trans individuals to use the washroom that reflects their gender, was 58% to keep while 42% to repeal it.

Quite honestly, it’s someone like me, a trans person who is in that in-between stage of transition, that benefits the most from the law. Those who have transitioned years ago and are read 100% of the time in the true gender don’t have to worry too much about this but it’s those that have just started or are limited by funds from fully transitioning that this protects. The idea that it opens the door for a rapist to use this as a defense is laughable. I mean, seriously, how often does rape actually happen in a washroom? I have to ask because I did a search and found the following: most rapes will occur by a person you know in a place you know (apt, home, work). Now, this isn’t to say it isn’t possible but I do think that the funds spent on trying to repeal this law could have been used for better education and support of rape victims in general.

Why not offer self-defense classes and empower women to be able to stand up against aggressors?

Why not put up public service announcements to teach adults and children alike to be aware of danger signs?

Why not make children aware of “bad touch” but know that “good touch” is ok as well?

Why not…

The expectations of young people today are very different from 30 years ago. People don’t like big dormitories and communal washrooms. They want more privacy and that is what we are trying to offer them. — Duncan Simpson

Because it’s often easier to be reactive than proactive. Rather than spend the time to be aware, to re-create trust in our society with each other, get to know each other, be there for each other, we’d rather admonish others and continue a cycle of fear. I think society is exhausted of fear, uncertainty and doubt. I think society is tired of living in “uncertain times” and wants life to be simplier. Perhaps this cycle of downturn will benefit us in that it will teach us to appreciate each other more, appreciate more of what we have and respect others of what they have. Maybe it will even teach us to be supportive of each other in these harsh times and less reactive.

Maybe.

It’s interesting that the main focus of this is over whether “men” go into women’s washroom but not vice versa. I’ve actually been told that there is less of a threat for me to go into a men’s washroom than if a transwoman goes into a woman’s washroom. The more I see comments like that the more convinced that general society views trans women from a societal view of giving up on privilege (male privilege) and trans men going for privilege (both of these ideas are the farthest thing from the truth for 99% of the trans people I know). There always is a threat for a trans person, regardless of whether it’s a trans man or a trans woman. It’s the fact that a person is trans that’s often viewed as a threat. Perhaps it’s an overblown threat, particularly in larger cities but it still rests in the back of my mind and is probably the thing that holds me back some. I’ve gotten more brave as I pass and am read more and more as male. I know I haven’t run into any trans male who has said they were assaulted or attacked for using the men’s washroom (trans women really do get verbally and physically assaulted in both and that’s a horrible, harsh reality) but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Male rape does exist as well.

I think it’s time to stop feeding into the reactive and be proactive on my own as well. It’s always another step moving forward toward complete and total self-satisfaction and happiness.

Fun, eh?